Rhode Island Divorce Tips

Authored By:  Christopher Pearsall, RI Divorce Attorney
a.k.a.  " The Rhode Island Divorce Coach ℠ "

You believe your family court proceeding divorcing you from your spouse is straightforward.  You've talked to your spouse and think you have worked out all the major issues.  However, you are a bit apprehensive since you don't know the legal process, so you look into hiring a lawyer.  You meet with a few lawyers and the cheapest one you can find will charge you $2,000 for an uncontested proceeding.

You don't believe it should cost that much money "just to fill out paperwork" when you and your wife are amicable.  So you decide you are going to do it yourself and save the money.  You go to the closest family court in Rhode Island and an assistant court clerk hands you a packet of divorce/separation documents and informs you that you need to return with them completely filled out along with payment of the filing fee.

You get home and look over the documents. You look at the Complaint form.  It provides has a box to check off for the type of proceeding and you must check one.  It gives you two options.

[] - Complaint for Divorce  [] - Complaint for Divorce from Bed and Board

Do you know what the difference is?  Does checking off one box give you different rights than checking off the other box?  Is the result in the legal proceeding different if you check off one box compared to the other box?  If you check the wrong box when you file this document, are you allowed to change to the other legal proceeding if you make a mistake, or do you have to start over and refile all the papers and pay a new filing fee, etc.?

This is one small example why the paperwork is not "just filling out forms."  Ultimately, if it is just a matter of filling out forms then anyone could do it.  You wouldn't need to be a lawyer.  You wouldn't need a law degree.  You wouldn't need to know the law. It would simply be common sense or you would simply know the answer or the answer wouldn't have any detrimental consequences to you.

Looking further just at the Complaint for you see two boxes one labeled "Plaintiff" and the other "Defendant."  You know that the Plaintiff is the party who files the documents and that you will be doing the filing so you know that your name should be placed in the Plaintiff box and your spouse's name will be placed in the Defendant's box.   Then you question yourself.  Does it make a difference who is the Plaintiff in the case?  Does it make the case harder or easier if one spouse files as opposed to another?  You don't know so you continue with the documents.

It asks you to check a box for the proper county family court that the divorce matter is to be heard in.  You live in Kent County and your spouse lives in Providence County.  Which family court do you file in?  Kent County Family Court or Providence/Bristol County Family Court?  Must you file in one Kent County or Providence/Bristol County?  Can you file in either county? Does it make a difference where you file?  If you file in the wrong county do you have to restart the process and re-file the proceeding in the correct family court and pay a new filing fee?  You select your county and move to the first numbered paragraph in the complaint.

In Paragraph Number 1 of the Complaint it states,

"1.  The Plaintiff, _______________________________, of __________________________ (city or town), in the County of __________________________, states that the Plaintiff has been a domiciled inhabitant of Rhode Island and has resided therein for more than one (1) year next before filing this Complaint and is now a domiciled inhabitant of Rhode Island."

It seems fairly straight-forward to put in your name as the Plaintiff and then the name of the city and then the county you live in. However, what if you haven't been a continuous resident in the State of Rhode Island for at least 1 year before filing of this complaint?  Can you still file for divorce?  What if you haven't been a resident in your current county within the state?  Can you still file for divorce in that county?

In Paragraph Number 2 of the Complaint it states,

"2. Upon information and belief, the Defendant resides in the city or town of __________________________ in the State of __________________________ and has resided in that state for _____ years next before filing this Complaint."

Once again it seems straight-forward enough.  You fill in the town and state where your spouse lives and state how many years your spouse has lived in that state before filing this complaint.  Does it matter how long your wife lived in Rhode Island before you filed the complaint?  

Let's assume that you know that because things are amicable between you and your spouse that the grounds for the proceeding are irreconcilable differences that have caused the irremediable breakdown of the marriage.  Let's also assume that you get to the end of the Complaint document and it says that you are asking for a judgment of divorce AND ....

What do you ask for?  Do you know what things you can ask for?  Do you know if there are any things that you must ask for otherwise they might be permanently waived?  If you forget to ask for something do you lose your right to ask for that particular thing in the future? Do you ask for specifics such as the car you drive?  Or do you just ask the court to generally split everything 50/50 if that is what you and your spouse have talked about?  Do you know if Rhode Island is a 50/50 division state or what the legal standard is for property division in Rhode Island?  Does anything happen if you ask for something you aren't legally entitled to even if your spouse has said he or she will agree to it?  How do you word what you will ask for in the divorce so that nothing is missed?

The Complaint is only one of numerous documents that must be filed throughout a divorce case.  The purpose of this article is merely to demonstrate why lawyers don't "just fill in forms".  The forms provided by the court are as close as you can get to a one size fits all document.  Regrettably, it does not fit all cases and, in fact may not fit most cases.  As lawyers we know that we have to be fluid with the form and modify it where the factual circumstances do not fit within the form.

It is certainly true that we as attorneys prepare legal documents and fill in forms, but it is not merely blindly filling in forms because of any general information we have.  As divorce and family law attorneys we do much more than that.  

As you will note from the questions above, we know the difference between a Complaint for Divorce and a Complaint for a Divorce from Bed and Board and that the results are legally different and that each is normally pursued for very different reasons.  We also know that it sometimes makes a significant difference as to which party is the filing party (the "Plaintiff") based on factors such as (1) who wants the divorce and who does not, (2) who is local and who is not, (3) which county each party resides in if both the parties reside in Rhode Island, (4) which spouse has more time to give to the divorce to attend to the filing issues, (5) whether the other spouse plans to get a lawyer or not, and on occasion (6) who the judge is that might hear the case.

As lawyers, when we meet with client's and make sure the complaint complies with the law, we know when and where to modify it and which court has both the proper jurisdiction and proper venue to hear the case so that a case is not filed in the wrong jurisdiction or county.  Mistakes such as these can cause you issues or concerns or cost additional monies and time for re-filing.

When we approach the complaints we have created or prepare to fill-in and/or modify the documents provided by the court we know that the first two paragraphs are not merely filling in the blanks.  Those paragraphs tell the court about the parties and whether or not the court has jurisdiction over them so the case can be properly heard.  Simply filling in the first two paragraphs does not insure jurisdiction unless one of the spouses meets Rhode Island's statutory requirements for residency.   Therefore, what appear to be simple questions about where the spouses live are actually crucial.  Your answers may or or may not establish jurisdiction to invoke the family court's power to grant you a divorce.  Without the knowledge of whether or not what you are filling in for your residency is both accurate and triggers the court's jurisdiction could cause you a lot of wasted time if the court does not have the power to grant your type of divorce.

In the case of grounds for divorce, we have assumed it's amicable and that you would know that the preferred grounds in such cases is "irreconcilable differences that have caused the irremediable breakdown of the marriage."   This is referred to as a "no fault" grounds for divorce.   However, experienced divorce lawyers know that it is possible to plead more than one grounds in order to protect your client, including both a fault and non-fault (i.e. infidelity) grounds.  Family court lawyers who practice divorce know that there are actually eight (8) fault grounds for divorce and two non-fault grounds for divorce including living separate and apart for a space of time in excess of three (3) years.

Each aspect of the paperwork that is completed by attorneys in any divorce proceeding is done with the knowledge of the law and the court system.  Without this legal knowledge saying a lawyer just "fills in some forms" ignores the fact that each paragraph has legal significance and that if you fill it in incorrectly or fail to modify the court's "blanket form" in a way that complies with the law but still allows your divorce to be processed may cost you time, money or worse yet your legal rights. 

Here is a common example of a person who does not understand their case or what an attorney does.

Last week I received a call from an individual claiming she had an easy divorce .  She said it was uncontested and all worked out with her spouse.  I gave her a quote for an uncontested divorce as long as it remained uncontested and based on her representation had she it all worked out with her spouse.  She took issue with the quote I gave her claiming that it was easy to get married and since they had agreed on everything she didn't think it should cost more than $1,000 "just to fill in a few forms." 

I chose to ask a few questions and this is what I learned.

1.  The spouses hadn't spoken in almost a year and had no written agreement regarding how they wanted to divide their assets. 

2.  She lived in Rhode Island.  Her spouse lived in another country.  It was clear that research would need to be done to see if lawful service in the foreign country could be made on the spouse in accordance with the Hague Convention to ensure that the Rhode Island family court could obtain jurisdiction with allowable service in the foreign country.

3.  The woman's spouse had no intention of coming back to Rhode Island and did not want to  respond to the divorce proceeding.

4.  The foreign spouse had an affair but the local spouse didn't want to bring it up unless the agreement (which didn't seem to exist) fell through. 

5.  Both spouse's expected to simply sign a settlement document ad have the court sign off on it without testimony.  She was not aware the court has the power to approve or deny settlement agreements but only after testimony by the parties.

6.  The foreign spouse did not speak english and would require an interpreter.

7.  Since they expected a signed agreement the court would have to give permission for the foreign spouse to testify telephonically.

8.  It was not a short marriage and involved five (5) pieces of real estate in two (2) different countries.  There were also retirement accounts, bank accounts and personal property all of which were held in two (2) difference countries and were at least partially marital assets.  

In short, the court's form didn't apply and would have to be modified.  However modification could not occur until the issue of service of process had been researched.  Once service was researched, jurisdiction had to be confirmed for the proper location based upon whether legal service was allowed and in what form based on the Hague Convention and the laws of the foreign country.  Assuming Rhode Island had jurisdiction and service could effectively be performed, a concrete settlement agreement would have to be created for the parties not only because it involved real estate and assets in different countries but because the matter was likely to go before a judge that would not approve a verbal agreement between a bilingual individual and foreign spouse who required a translator. 

Based on what I had learned, the agreement would have to be drafted in both english and spanish and it would have to be approved in both forms by the parties in writing and under oath.  If that all went well, approval would have to be obtained from the judge hearing the matter for the foreign spouse to be allowed to testify by telephone and a court translator would have to be arranged for that telephonic hearing.  Since the foreign spouse did not speak english it was also likely that this particular judge might require all court documents to be drafted in spanish as well as english to insure the foreign spouse received proper notice of every aspect of the proceeding.  This was especially true because the foreign spouse presumably did not want to retain an attorney for the matter.

Even when these things were explained to the caller, the caller insisted I was attempting to make this more difficult than it needed to be in order to make money and claimed it was just a matter of filling out a few forms and would do it herself.

Regrettably, people often think lawyers complicate things unnecessarily. However, the fact is that the law is complicated and it is always changing. In the end, I was disappointed that the woman didn't realize the complexity of the matter she was dealing with.  I was, however, glad that I didn't have to explain to her that she did not have a simple flat fee uncontested divorce and that I would not undertake representation for the flat fee I had quoted her based on the her initial representations.

In closing, I have learned from numerous Pro Se individuals who handled their own divorces that one wrong word can cost you thousands of dollars in time and legal fees repair the damage caused by an incorrectly written document.  In some instances it has been difficult to inform a Pro Se individual that he or she filled in a divorce document incorrectly and as a result they lost something vital that cannot be undone.

It is always best to sit down for an advice session with a competent and experienced family law attorney in the state in which you have your issue before taking any kind of action.

For people within the State of Rhode Island, feel free to call me to set up your comprehensive low-cost flat fee legal advice session. Know what your options are before you act.

Call today and be on your way to getting the answer you need!  (401) 632-6976

Who Needs the Protection?

By:  Christopher A. Pearsall, RI Divorce and Family Law Attorney*

There are laws in virtually every state that protect the abused.  In Rhode Island we have protection from abuse laws and it is important and appropriate that we have them. 

However, they are not only laws but mindsets that are badly in need of revision and reconsideration.

These laws are codified in Chapter 15-15 of the  Rhode Island General Laws § 15-15-1* et seq. and entitled "Domestic Abuse Prevention."

Rhode Island also has Chapter 15-15.1. The Uniform Interstate Enforcement of Domestic Violence Protection Orders Act which relates to the power within our state to seek the enforcement of Protection from Abuse Orders and Judgments made by foreign tribunals.  For the sake of brevity, these are orders that are generally those issued by courts and tribunals other than the State of Rhode Island. 

For this article though, let's concentrate are Rhode Island's own Domestic Abuse Prevention laws.

Rhode Island's Domestic Abuse Prevention laws cover abuse between a variety of persons.  Specifically, to be within the jurisdiction of the family to court to hear the matter any acts considered "Domestic Abuse" must occur between 1) present or former family members, 2) parents, 3) stepparents, 4) persons who are or have been in either a substantive dating or engagement relationship within the past one year in which at least one of the persons is a minor.  RI Gen. Laws Rhode Island General Laws § 15-15-1(2)

According to the reading of the statute abuse can occur between any combination of these particular classes of people.  That covers quite a bit of ground as it relates to "family" that might be involved.

The statue goes on to describe what constitutes "domestic abuse."

Domestic Abuse is any one or more of the following actions perpetrated by a person in one of the four classes of people identified above:

(1)     Attempting to cause or causing physical harm;
(2)     Placing another in fear of imminent serious physical harm; or
(3)     Causing another to engage involuntarily in sexual relations by force, threat of force, or duress.
(4)     Stalking or cyberstalking

While the individual definitions of these actions causes serious problems in themselves, perhaps the most problematic part of the Domestic Abuse Protection statutes is the the process itself.

In essence, a Person files a Protection from Abuse Complaint to obtain an immediate Ex Parte Temporary Protection from Abuse Order a person only needs to swear to an affidavit that 1) identifies herself or himself as a member of one of the four classes of people identified above, and 2) allege anything that falls within the four categories of domestic abuse with enough convincing language (notice I did not say facts) that gives the judge a reasonable belief that domestic abuse is likely occur to the person if the Temporary Protection from Abuse Order is not issued.

An Ex Parte Protection from Abuse Order is essentially a restraining order that usually often gives the applicant 1) immediate exclusive use and possession of the home and all the things in it, 2) no contact from the party alleged to have abused them at home, work or elsewhere , 3) sole legal and physical custody of any minor children the parties may have together, and 4) relinquishing any firearms to local authorities.  The Order may include other things depending upon what is requested and whether the judge granting such an Ex Parte Order deems it appropriate in his or her discretion.

It is, unfortunately, all too easy to obtain one of these Ex Parte Orders against a man.  Notwithstanding assertions to the contrary, men are perceived as the stronger sex.  Somehow, because we are considered the stronger sex has somehow equated into the fact that by being the stronger sex we are more prone to use that strength to abuse. There is, however, no legal, factual or scientific basis for making this leap in logic.  However, realistically that is what happens. 

In speaking with several police officers this year, I discovered that when they are called to a "domestic disturbance" they are taught to enter the situation with the presumption that the man is the aggressor.  This approach is no different in the court system.  If a woman presents a Complaint for a Protection from Abuse against a man with the accompanying affidavit signed under oath, the Family Court Judge is likely to grant it if it appears the items in the statute have been alleged and the judge forms a reasonable belief that domestic abuse is likely to continue to occur or that occur again if the Ex Parte Order is granted.

The Ex Parte Order can last for up to 21 days before the court hears the matter based solely on the allegations made by the complainant.  For purposes of this article only, let us assume that the complainant is a woman since very few men, in fact, make such complaints for fear that they won't be taken seriously or that they will be viewed as less than men if they do so.

The Case of Donald's Turmoil 

Donald and Teresa were married.  Teresa moved into an apartment that was solely in Donald's name right after they got married.  They had a son about 10 months later.  Donald came home from work one day and was served with an Ex Parte Protection from Abuse Order from the Rhode Island Family Court. The police informed Donald that he had been ordered out of the house and he would be given time to get some of his things.   The police escorted Donald through his own house to the couple's bedroom where he was given 15 minutes to stuff a few essentials into a garbage bag.  Donald was lead outside and the officers told Teresa they would stay outside and wait until Donald had driven away.

Donald was in shock and stopped in a parking lot to read the paperwork.  The order was specific.  Donald was ordered to stay out of the home.  He was ordered to have no contact with Teresa.  Teresa was temporarily awarded sole legal and physical custody of their son.  In three weeks there would be a hearing to find out if the order should be continued for up to 3 years.

Then Donald read Teresa's sworn statement.  Teresa had alleged that Donald had placed her in fear for her life by getting into a rage and throwing a coffee cup at her head causing it to strike the wall and shatter into pieces all while she was holding their son.  Teresa claimed that this put her in fear for her life and the life of their child. 

Donald was incredulous. Teresa had lied.  Not a single allegation was true.  Donald did not understand why Teresa was doing this. Donald had some clothes and toiletries and that was it.

He couldn't contact Teresa.  He couldn't go home.  He had no relatives or friends that he could stay with or call on for help.  He had no way to make arrangements to see their two (2) year old son without breaking the Ex Parte Order.

So Donald did the only thing he could do.  He slept in his car and clean up as best he could in the bathroom at work.  Donald got paid and used the little money he had to get a lawyer thinking it was going to be just one hearing.  On the day of the court proceedings, Teresa showed up saying she needed time to get a lawyer.  Donald's attorney objected.  The judge would not hear the case and continued the hearing another month to Teresa to get an attorney.

Fast forward a month.  Donald had still been living in his car and cleaning up at work.  Teresa got a lawyer just before the court date at no fee to her.  However, now Teresa's attorney needed time to meet with her and to get up to speed on the case so the attorney asked for another continuance.  Donald's attorney vehemently objected stating that he was being denied his due process rights as well as access to his son and his home.  The judge granted 1 hour per week of supervised visitation for Donald at the courthouse as if he were some criminal.  The judge also ordered Donald to continue paying the rent for the apartment until the court could hear the matter regarding child support.  All of this was over the objections of Donald's attorney.  The judge gave Teresa's lawyer a 5 week continuance.

During the ensuing 5 weeks Donald continued to live in his car as before.  Out of the 5 weeks of visits that Donald was supposed to receive, he received 2 when Teresa claimed that she could find no transportation to get the baby to the courthouse the other (3) times.

Fast forward 3 months.... Donald had been ordered to pay child support without the underlying protection from abuse matter being heard.  Again Donald's attorney had objected.  Donald had seen his son a total of 10 hours in 6 months.  Donald had lived in his car for 6 months because Teresa insisted on pressing the Protection from Abuse Complaint.  Each and every time there was an excuse by Teresa or her attorney why the matter could not be heard.  Either Teresa was sick, there was a death in the family, she didn't have a ride to court or the Attorney was on vacation.  Still the court denied Donald his opportunity to testify or to try to prove that no Domestic Abuse was committed.  Each time either Donald or his attorney tried to speak about the substance of the case the court refused to let them speak.  Donald was served with divorce papers immediately after one of his supervised visits with his son.

Fast forward again to 6 months, Donald and his lawyer went into court.  5 continuances had already been granted to Teresa and her lawyer.  This time, Teresa's lawyer stated that income documents had been subpoenaed from Donald's employer but that his employer had not come in with the documents so a continuance was needed since child support depended upon them.  Donald's lawyer objected angrily.  The judge was frustrated.  However, the judge and was going to grant yet another continuance. 

This time Donald's lawyer wasn't going to be silenced.  Donald's attorney told the court how they had intended from the very start to prove that this court had been duped.  We are prepared to give evidence of how Teresa lied on her affidavit, that she was having an affair, that she had moved her boyfriend into the house within hours after Donald had been forced out of the house by the Ex Parte Order. 

The judge told Donald's attorney to stop or he would be found in contempt.  The attorney didn't stop.  He continued to describe how the court had helped Teresa because preventing the truth from coming out sooner allowed the boyfriend live in the apartment at Donald's expense. The attorney quickly described how this boyfriend had been "playing daddy" for the last 6 months while the court kept buying the excuses given by Teresa and her attorney.  Donald's attorney expressed his outrage at how the court was denying his client his home AND his right to be the child's father AND particularly his client's right to be heard on this matter without reasonable due process.

Teresa's lawyer immediately asked the judge to speak with Teresa outside the courtroom.  The judge called for a 15 minute court recess.

Donald and his attorney took a seat.

Twenty minutes later the judge came back out and Teresa and her lawyer came back in.

Teresa voluntarily dropped her Complaint for the Protection from Abuse.  Teresa asked that Donald not return to the apartment until tomorrow.  Donald agreed.

The next day Donald returned to the apartment.  Everything was gone.  Beds, big screen television, appliances, all of their son's things.  He was left his clothes, one bureau a livingroom area rug.  There was junk and pizza boxes strewn about the apartment, a few broken windows and several holes made in the walls.  Donald had no idea where his son was.

If you have read this story, excellent.  Now you are enlightened.  This is not dramatized.  In fact, it is minimalized because the entire story would be too long for most people to endure personally let alone to read.

The Protection from Domestic Abuse laws are too easily manipulated.  They work on the presumption that when people swear under oath to the court that they will be honest and tell the truth, in context, so that the court can do the right thing for truly abused men and women.  I'm an optimist at my center, but I realistically know that people lie every day.  Many people lie on their taxes. Some lie when they are angry.  Some lie just to get their way or because they have an ulterior motive.  To many people it doesn't matter whether the lie is made before a clerk, judge or a notary. 

This story is not out of the ordinary.  All you have to do is lie on the affidavit to the court and for at least 3 weeks you can get a person thrown out of their own home, you keep them away from their children, you can keep them from all their possessions.  In the end, even if you prove that the story they have given the court is fabricated, in 28 years in law in the courts of this state as well as Massachusetts, Vermont and New Hampshire I have not once seen a single person punished for committing perjury even though it is a crime.

Perjury in these types of cases is the most aggregious I can imagine.  You are denied your home, your children, your property .... and all it takes is 3 to 5 sentences of lies phrased in just the right way.  This does such a tremendous disservice to the people who are truly abused and who these laws were intended to serve and protect.

Most of all I would like to caution men.  Protection from Domestic Abuse Complaints are the most frequently used tool of women who want to maintain control in a divorce and sometimes in other proceedings.  By filing for this first it allows them to gain both control of the house, belongings and children and to taint the court into believing that the male spouse is an abuser.  If a judge were to be tainted in this way, might a judge believe that a man who could commit domestic abuse would have no problem lying to the court? 

Yet aren't we innocent until proven guilty you might think.  Not under the Protection from Domestic Abuse Laws. 

So is it possible to taint a judge by presenting a man as an abuser in such a way? 

Hey, anyone can be tainted! 

Related articles

RI General Laws § 15-5-12 Domicile and Residence Requirements

Enough of the Bias Already! When Family Court Judges Cross the Line!

Collaborative Lawyers in Rhode Island - The Mistake of Avoiding the New and Different.

FAQ: Why Can't the Rhode Island Family Court Clerk's help me fill out forms?

Parental Alienation - Exists Despite What Some People with their Own Agenda Report!

How to recover from domestic violence - Boyle Feinberg, P.C.

7 ways domestic abusers get to keep their guns

Atty Chris Pearsall

Authored By:  Christopher Pearsall, RI Divorce Attorney
a.k.a.  " The Rhode Island Divorce Coach ℠ "

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Many people think the court is responsible for creating the court orders relating to divorce and family law matters after the judge has stated them from the bench or the parties have agreed upon them.

This is a mistake often made by pro se litigants and new attorneys in Rhode Island.  It is up to the litigations in the matter to create the court's Order consistent with what the judge has stated from the bench.  If this means that you must obtain the transcript of the hearing or a transcrip exerpt that contains only the judge's Order, then you should do so.  

Remember, the Orders are the documents that the court uses to review the file and determine the travel (i.e. what has happened) in the case.  It is often quoted by judges that a court speaks through it's Orders.  Therefore, without orders for each part of the proceeding, a further review of the file leaves gaps in the timeline.  This leaves judges missing critical peices about what occurred during the court proceedings and as a result the judges are without the appropriate information to make equitable decisions in the case.

Just remember that there are procedures for submitting Orders to the Court, including waiting periods once submitted.  These procedures for those who are unfamiliar with them, can be found in the Rhode island Rules of Domestic Relations Procedure. 

Atty Chris Pearsall

Authored By:  Christopher Pearsall, RI Divorce Attorney
a.k.a.  " The Rhode Island Divorce Coach ℠ "

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You find yourself served with divorce papers for a Rhode Island divorce and you don't have the money or don't want to hire a lawyer.  What do you do next?

The next step is to follow exactly what the Summons that you were served with tells you to do.  It advises you that you have twenty (20) days within which to answer the Plaintiff's Complaint otherwise you may be defaulted and the Court may grant the relief that has been requested by the the Plaintiff.

Many laypeople don't know what that means.  

1)  Does that mean you have to file something with the court within twenty (20) days?  

2)  Does it mean that you need to get a lawyer within twenty (20) days?  

3)  Does it mean you have to just tell the Plaintiff that you received the documents or send him or her a letter to let the person know the documents were received?

4)  Does it mean that you have to mail something to the Plaintiff within twenty (20) days?

Or does it mean something entirely different.

We won't go into detail about what it means to be defaulted here.  Suffice it to say, most people don't want to be defaulted.  In fact, you would only "not mind" being defaulted if you have 100% trust in your spouse and everything that he or she might ask for in the divorce if you weren't present.

So what should you do?  

Most family law attorneys would submit an Answer and a Counterclaim for Divorce.  This is common since Answers and Counterclaims must be submitted simultaneously and usually they are included in the same document.

So what does the Answer portion contain.  The top part looks like most court filing.  It is the portion some attorneys call the "Header."  It has the caption of the case.  The first line of the page would generally contain in capital letters the words "STATE OF RHODE ISLAND" flush against the left margin and the words "FAMILY COURT" flush against right margin.  On the next line flush against the left margin in capital letters the county the matter is being heard in would be typed followed by "SC."  Therefore, it would be "PROVIDENCE, SC. for Providence County Family Court.  The "SC." stands for "Sheriff's County."

Under this "Header" is the caption of the case.  The caption of the case consists of the name of the plaintiff in all capital letters flush against the left margin.  Two lines down is typically the capital letters "VS." for versus flush against the left margin as well.  On the exact same line flush against the right margin in capital letters is "C.A. NO.:  P2013-0182."  C.A. NO.: means "Civil Action Number."  The letter and number represent the first letter for the county of the case followed by the year in which the case was started.  The number after the dash is the identifying number for the case.  It is also the number of the case filed as a Civil Action in that County in that particular year.  Two lines down flush with the left margin is the Defendant's name in capital letters. 

Two lines down, centered is the word "ANSWER" in capital letters.

The remainder of the ANSWER is very straight forward.  Look at the Complaint for Divorce.  Each numered paragraph in the complaint except for the paragraph requesting the divorce and other relief should state a fact.  For each numbered paragraph just write the number and whether you say "admit" if it is true and "deny" if it is false.

Then several lines down create a signature line that is flush with the right margin.  Under it you should type your name, address, and telephone number. 

To complete the Answer you would simply sign it.

The second portion of the document, the Counterclaim typically comes immediately thereafter and it is usually avisable to file one.  Essentially it looks just like the Plaintiff's Complaint for Divorce but you reference your own residency.  Just like a Plaintiff's Complaint for Divorce the Counterclaim must state what you are seeking in the divorce and must be signed under oath before a Clerk of the Court or a Notary Public.

Lastly, you would provide a written certification at the bottom of the page which states something to the effect that " I certify that on November ____, 2013 that I served a copy of this document by first class mail to JANE SMITH, at [address of the Plaintiff].

Atty Chris Pearsall

Authored By:  Christopher Pearsall, RI Divorce Attorney
a.k.a. The Rhode Island Divorce Coach℠

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In a Rhode Island divorce proceeding the filing spouse is often concerned about the relief that is requested in the divorce complaint itself. 

This is particularly true if the spouse filing for divorce in Rhode Island wants to keep things amicable and is concerned about their husband or wife becoming upset or even fanatical when they receive a divorce complaint that requests something that the other spouse believes is outrageous or unreasonable under the circumstances.

In a divorce complaint many attorneys will prepare a complaint for divorce that requests virtually every form of relief that the filing party might want from the court.  Thus, an attorney may prepare a divorce complaint for filing in the Providence County Family Court that asks for alimony, placement of the minor children, child support and resumption of maiden name.  This may be true even if the attorney has been told by the client that he or she does not want alimony or to resume her maiden name.  

These provisions are often included by the attorney as a precautionary measure to ensure that the client does not waive that relief if something changes and he or she changes their mind after the complaint for divorce is filed.  In truth, it is a good practice when dealing with a client who is undecided or who seems to hesitate about any particular form of relief.

I personally don't disagree with the idea of including every possible form of relief in the request for relief regarding a client so as to make certain that the client has not waived any relief he or she may want after the complaint has been filed.  However, it's best to strike a balance here and discuss the matter with the client.  If the client expressed identifiable uncertainty to the attorney about the specific type of relief requested, it is better as a practitioner to request it in the complaint and ask the client for permission to include the provisions he or she expressly stated were not desired.  If the client is opposed to requesting, for example  "alimony" in their divorce complaint because he or she is afraid that the other spouse will take action to retaliate, then it is a better practice to listen to the client and exclude that provision it the divorce lawyer determines that it would be a marginal alimony case and simply make sure that you include for the client a sentence in the relief requested area of the divorce complaint that you also request "and any and all relief that this court deems fair and just."

You as the client should be aware that in practice things may be a bit different than a strict application of the law.  When the little clause just mentioned above is included in the complaint, then Rhode Island family court judges will generally allow an amendment of the complaint to include the requested relief later in the proceeding if there is a justifiable basis for doing so.

Ultimately, you are the client and you are in charge. If you don't want particular language in your Rhode Island divorce complaint then it is up to you to tell your Rhode Island divorce attorney that you want the language removed.  You may do this even if your attorney advises you that the language should remain for your protection.  This does not mean that your attorney must agree with you, nor does it mean that your attorney must continue to represent you if he or she thinks you are making a grave mistake. 

On the rare occasion an attorney may even refuse to proceed as your counsel if you want to exclude certain language that your divorce lawyer finds is crucial to your case.  Though this may be merely a precaution against any potential malpractice claim against the attorney later, it should be taken as a strong indication that if your attorney is willing to go this far to ensure that the language is included, that you, as the client, should probably defer to your attorney's advice.

In the end, a good attorney will advise you of the various considerations involved but ultimately defer to your wishes on the vast majority of issues even if he or she finds them to be contrary to your best interests.

It is good for the lawyer and client to reach an understanding on all family law issues in order to strike a balance between your personal and non-legal concerns as the client and the advice of an experienced and licensed legal practitioner. 

When in doubt, it is always best for you as the client to make the extra effort necessary to retain a lawyer with a dedicated family law practice who practices regularly (weekly if possible) before the Rhode Island Family Courts.

You are the client.  It's your life.  A good divorce lawyer who cares about your case will discuss all related matters with you and work with you on them to do what is best for you regarding your legal and non-legal concerns.  Once again, it is your life.  Don't settle for anything less than what you want and what you determine is in your best interests.