I speak to many Rhode Island lawyers in the course of my divorce practice. I have never heard this statement from a lawyer representing a man or from a man himself in a divorce case. However, I have heard this statement from about 50% of women and their lawyers in divorce cases.
"I want what I am entitled to."
Part of the biggest issue is the fact that many women who are making this statement are not saying it and expecting what is reasonable in a divorce. The women who state this and their divorce lawyers are stating what the wife believes she is entitled to in a divorce proceeding and it has nothing to do with what is reasonable.
Men need to fight against this entitlement mentality in Rhode Island in divorce proceedings.
Too many wives and children have today have developed an entitlement mentality. Women who have been taken care of for say 13 or even 17 years are claiming they are entitled to be taken care of "forever" because their husband worked a good job for 70 or even 80 hour a week, provided them with a good life and took care of them and the kids for many years and therefore they expect that to continue. It simply isn't realistic.
Children are being given more and more. From Xbox 360 and PS3 Games to every DVD and cell phone they want, children are being given more than their parents ever had because their parents work their butts off. Yet when this happens to either a wife or to the children they now get resentful to think that they might have to go to work or that the husband or father will not be providing for them at the same level as he previously did because he actually needs to survive and have a life separate from the wife.
What are any of us entitled to? We're not expected to be handed a winning lotter ticket are we? Then why do some women and children believe they are entitled to be "taken care of." It is purely a matter of conditioning. Women and children become conditioned to becoming spoiled by the husband and father. When they realize that they aren't going to be handed that money to play with anymore and that they may have to actually "work" for a change, they go into culture shock. They try to find a lawyer for their divorce that will force the issue that they are entitled to continue to receive all this money and to not have to work.
It's not realistic! It's not even remotely fair either! Imagine a man taking care of his wife for 30 years financially. Then suddenly she's presenting to the court that she is entitled to be taken care of FOREVER! What the heck is that? Where was it in the wife's birth certificate or marriage certificate or even in her vows that she was to be left with a golden spoon in her mouth if the parties had to go their separate ways via a divorce?
Men don't take this attitude. So what is it that causes women and children to do this. There is one answer and only one answer. They have become lazy and spoiled. They don't keep their own skills up to par and maintain value and intelligence in their own lives so that they could survive if their spouse was suddenly hit by a bus.
Ignorance is no excuse! I see it too often. It comes from men and not from women and ultimately it needs to stop. Men are becoming victimized by their wives, their children and in some instances the legal system is complicit in this conduct.
Whatever the circumstances, I urge men to stand up against this "entitlement mentality." We have a right as husbands and fathers to live our lives. We have the right to be happy. We have the right not to be take advantage of. These are not enumerated legal rights, they are common sense rights.
Yet, until we as fathers and husbands stand up and refuse to buckle to the pressure imposed upon us by today's new world "entitlement mentality" of our wives and children in the court system, we will continue to be victimized by our spouses, by our own children and by the courts.
It's time to be heard. Husbands and Dads have rights! Relinquish them and you become less than the man you should be and all your hard work was for nothing.
Yes, I support father's and husband's rights where appropriate.
All my Best to All Who Go Before the Rhode Island Family Court,
I am Attorney Christopher A. Pearsall and I am "The Rhode Island Divorce Coach."