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February 2011

Are You Headed Toward a Rhode Island Divorce? Make RI Divorce Amicable!

The best RI Divorce is an amicable one.  That's my opinion of course.  Lawyers who insist on paying for their Jaguars, BMWs, boats, planes, summer homes, and much more might well disagree with me.  My humble divorce coaching and lawyering opinion here might differ on this issue because I can do without all the "stuff" they have or want that they have to pay for.

After all, how would a Rhode Island lawyer pay for this "stuff" and maximize their income to do so? Well, he or she could have an extremely high billable rate.  Yet that alone wouldn't do it. 

So what would help a Rhode Island lawyer pay for all the "stuff" he or she may need to have in their life?

Let me make a suggest this one word...CONFLICT.

Conflict causes parties to grow even further apart, fight more, require more time, require more meetings, require more court hearings, require more meetings with your lawyer, require more motion filings in your divorce case, cause more arguments and cost more money.

Are all Rhode Island divorces and all Rhode Island divorce lawyers like this?  Of course not!  It's not right or fair to generalize things in such a way that we're all bad or that lawyers we are all crooks.  There are plenty of good lawyers out here trying to help people but when we're looked at in this way, how can you find us if we're all crooks or liars trying to steal your money.

Remember, Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers and Coaches are just like you.  We have families to feed, lives to live, and bills to pay.  This is how we do it... with intense knowledge and education that we gained painstakingly over years of schooling and experience.  There is tremendous value in what we offer.

Do you want to really do yourself a favor?  Then read this part over and over.  It's not meant to be anything other than common sense.

It is your Rhode Island divorce, yours and your spouses.  It doesn't belong to the judge.  It doesn't belong to the filing spouse.  It doesn't belong to the spouse who was served papers.  And it doesn't belong to either of your lawyers if you have one.  It is both of yours!

When you got married you both agreed that you belonged together.  That's what your marriage was about.  You both had to agree that you belonged with each other.  If one of you didn't agree then the marriage wasn't going to happen, right?  Of course!  That's how men or women get "left at the altar" and the marriage doesn't happen.  One doesn't agree at the last minute for whatever reason.  It's a contract.

Now that's essentially your marriage.  It's a contract.  Now just use 10 seconds of logic instead of emotion, hatred, anger or whatever may cause the breakdown of the relationship.  Divorce is simply the realization that one or both of you coming to the conclusion . . . I don't agree that we belong together for the future.  It could be caused by anything, or nothing at all, or for all the wrong reasons.  Yet in the end the divorce can be thought of as the Rhode Island Family Court helping each of you to part company reasonably in your divorce with whatever property, etc... that you should reasonably and equitably (fairly) leave the contract with in order to continue on your separate ways and be able to survive.

Here are a few good Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer's Coaching tips:

1)  Realize that just like both of you had to agree to make your marriage work, only one of you has to disagree that being a couple at this time is agreeable for a divorce to work but the divorce belongs to both of you.  There are two parties in a marriage.  There are two parties in a divorce.  You each own both.

2)  You can act reasonably with one another to dissolve the contract fairly and reasonably by communicating with one another and reaching a settlement.  Or you can get angry and try to get more than you may be entitled to or try to hurt the other person and then the Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers can get wealthier while you go broke rather than simply going to a good counselor and dealing with your emotional issues separately.

3)  Separate the emotions you have in the relationship from the fact that the contract is needs to be dissolved and that it is to your benefit to put your emotions aside and deal with the contract in the court and with the emotions with a good therapist.

4)  No matter how big the marital estate is.  No matter what caused one or both parties to decide to separate their marriage contract, the best solution to every case as an amicable and reasonable settlement arrived at by the parties by their own agreement.

The world doesn't need to "go to hell in a hand basket" as my grandmother used to say.  There are still decent people left in this world and there are lots of them.  Sometimes they just need a little help from someone who cares.

Personally, I don't have a lot of "stuff."  I like a perk or two every now and then and usually get something for myself after its considered obsolete.  I buy new things when they are necessary or when it comes to running my divorce coaching practice and the necessities for my clients because other than my own marriage, my clients are my first priority.

If helped quite a few people.  It's very likely I can help you.  I don't want your world to go to "hell in a hand basket" or for you to go broke.

Call me for a paid Coaching and Advice Session at (401) 632-6976.

 Clients are surprised how much I can cover with them at just $135 for one hour.

Isn't your world worth only $135?  Then Call.


Authored By:


Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
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Copyright 2000 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

Note: If this article contains a case scenario with names, dates or amounts, any resemblance any connection to any person or situation now or previously existing is purely accidental, unintentional, and is merely a mistaken creation in the mind of the reader.

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

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