Rhode Island Divorce Tips

Divorce Coaching is quickly becoming the hot topic in several western states.  It has yet to hit Rhode Island lawyers or Rhode Island legal counselors with its full force yet, but this Rhode Island divorce lawyer has taken it to heart and is making major shift from the courtroom to the conference room both for himself and for many people who may have to "go it alone" in the Rhode Island Family Court System.

With a little research into law, particularly divorce law, you would quickly find that divorce lawyers are one of the highest stressed professions in America.  Now if you don't care about stress, premature grey, and increased risk of heart attack and other maladies then the profession might be the best place for you.

However, for caring individuals who hear the trials and tribulations of people who are at each other's throats every day with heart-wrenching stories that may be angering or heartbreaking, it may not be the best long-term life-fulfilling profession to be in.  Some people just need help in the courtroom "fighting the good fight" for themselves so to speak.

Many Rhode Islanders and others that will appear before the Rhode Island Family Courts either for a divorce or other family law process are in need of positive, economical legal help.  This is where Rhode Island Divorce Coaching by an experienced Rhode Island divorce lawyer comes in handy

If you've been lawyer shopping for a lawyer who will just do a little bit on your case, you will quickly find that most Rhode Island lawyers will not take peicemeal work on a divorce or family law case. 

What does that mean?

If you approach an experienced Rhode Island divorce attorney, and you ask him (or her) to just draft an Ex Parte Motion for Relief, Supporting Affidavit and Proposed Order and do nothing else on your case, the attorney is unlikely to do so.

Why wouldn't experienced Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys do that?

For the most part, an experienced Rhode Island divorce attorney will not offer to undertake you as a client for such a limited purpose because the attorney is exposed to liability for the document(s) drafted and the advice given yet his or her compensation may be very limited for such a specific task.

Liability comes with every word an attorney utters and every document attorneys draft.  If a divorce attorney undertakes a case from beginning to end, then the attorney can limit his or her own exposure by following his or her own distinct thought process as to how a matter should be handled and direct the matter in such a way that the drafting of an Ex Parte Motion for Relief, Supporting Affidavit and Proposed Order make complete sense under the circumstances for beginning to end. 

Therefore, the Rhode Island divorce attorney has a reasonable amount of control over his or her liability because of his or her professional thought process and his or her consistent method of presentation throughout the entire matter.

However, it would be relatively easy for an attorney to draft documents requested by a "piecemeal client" and as a result of the client's poor or inappropriate use, misuse, or misunderstood use of the documents drafted by the Rhode Island divorce attorney, that the "piecemeal client" might make a claim against the attorney for legal malpractice.

Piecemeal projects therefore generally are beneficial to "piecemeal clients" but provide less income for the experienced practitioner and also create a larger chance of a malpractice claim by having a larger number of clients with "piecemeal projects" who have the opportunity to misunderstand the attorney and potentially make a claim against the attorney for malpractice.  Therefore, piecemeal projects may work out great for the client, but they offer less income and more legal exposure for the lawyer when he or she could take on cases where he or she represents clients from the beginning of the proceeding to its conclusion and have a singular client with limited opportunity for liability claims.

As an experienced Rhode Island divorce practitioner, I opt to provided these "piecemeal services" to various clients after consultation if they meet criteria that I have determined by the end of a consultation.  In this way, clients get valuable legal services at less cost and receive only those services that they need at any given time.  I am also able to reasonably mitigate or determine the potential for liability exposure by careful analysis while speaking with the client during an affordable low-cost consultation.

Now enter the world of Rhode Island Divorce Coaching!  It is a new and vastly different manner of practicing that many lawyers are not likely to undertake for the very same reasons as I described when a client may come to the experienced Rhode Island Divorce Attorney to have him or her draft only specific documents in the course of any divorce or family law proceeding.

It may be a challenge for first-time "Divorce Coaching Clients" to grasp the concept of Divorce Coaching.  It is best described as hiring an experienced Rhode Island Divorce lawyer to be your mentor through piecemeal segments of your Rhode Island divorce or family law proceeding, except that it is done in sessions (much like a mental health counselor might use) and the client is the actual drafter of the documents.  In this case, the Rhode Island Divorce Coach is very much like an after school tutor, who is present to help you through aspects that you have tried to understand in the Rhode Island divorce or family law process but may require fine tuning or re-drafting if something wasn't understood.

An example will best illustrate how I as a Rhode Island Divorce Coach I am prepared to help my clients in a conference room rather than in the courtroom.

EXAMPLE

Michael has just been served with divorce papers by his wife but he cannot afford an attorney to represent him from beginning to end and he doesn't even have enough money to have me draft the documents for him.  Why?   Michael has been out of work for some time.  However, Michael knows he wants to answer the divorce complaint and make a counterclaim but he doesn't know how to go about it. 

Michael checks the domestic relations laws for Rhode Island, tries to find the family court procedural rules at his local library and then attempts to draft an answer to his wife's divorce and a counterclaim for divorce as well.  In his own research, Michael reads that if he doesn't ask for something in his counterclaim then he may lose his right to ask for it in the future so he is concerned.  He is not sure how detailed he needs to be.

Michael wants to schedule up an initial divorce coaching consultation with me.  He tells me that he needs help answering the divorce papers he was served with.  Michael also explains that he has already attempted to draft the document himself but he would like to have a professional take a look at it and tell him if he has done a reasonable job or if it needs to be done differently.

I agree to schedule Michael's divorce coaching consultation session. Michael shows up on time and brings with him all the documents he was served with by the Rhode Island Constable as well as the document he drafted to file with the Rhode Island Family Court.

During the divorce coaching session, I review the documents Michael was served with and his answer and counterclaim.  Michael has the right idea but has done some things which may injure the case he wants to present.  I suggest to Michael how he could re-draft his answer and how to prepare a counterclaim that better reflects the objectives he is trying to reach using some of the information he already has.  Michael takes detailed notes, thanks me profusely and leaves to prepare revised documents.

So what is the difference between an attorney who is willing to draft "piecemeal documents" and the attorney who is willing to provide divorce coaching ?

An attorney who agrees to prepare documents on a piecemeal basis actually drafts the documents.  In a divorce coaching scenario, the Rhode Island divorce coach helps a person who has already endeavored to help himself or herself.   The divorce coach gives the coached person more direction as to what he or she is doing and ways in which the coached person may want to proceed or to re-draft the document(s).  However the divorce coach does not draft any document(s).  The person who has the case before the family court and who is being coached is the one who actually prepares the documents.

The divorce coach is much like a paid experienced tutor helping a person with afterschool work.  The paid tutor provides his or her experience to the person who has tried or is trying to do the initial work but may need a little extra help to get the right answer to the problem. 

Ultimately, the coached person pays less money but receives direction from the divorce coach through his or her expertise.  It is then up to the coached person to proceed.  The coached person may chose to use or not use the information provided by the coach and is free to forget, or even discard the information he or she has received from the divorce coach.  The manner of proceeding and its content are entirely in the hands of the divorce coaching client, not the coach.

Rhode Island divorce coaching is a new and innovative approach to legal services in Rhode Island.  It provides a service for those who do not have the funds to engage an attorney yet need a little bit of legal help to get through things they don't have a complete grasp on.  It costs less for the client because the divorce coach does not have to go to court and does not have to draft the documents, and the client receives only as much coaching as he or she either wants or can afford.

A person who does nothing to help himself or herself before seeking out the help of a divorce coach is, generally speaking, not a good candidate for divorce coaching.

If you've heard the saying, "The Lord helps those who help themselves.", you may better understand the concept.  The same is true for divorce coaching.  You need to help yourself first.   Don't expect to go to a divorce coach without having tried things yourself.  Remember, as a Rhode Island Divorce Coach I am here to save you money and help you move ahead from the efforts you have already tried to make on your own, . . . a divorce coach does not do everything for you and is not a substitute either for engaging an attorney to represent you from beginning to end in your divorce, nor is it a substitute for an experienced divorce lawyer who will prepare documents for you on a piecemeal basis!  If you want that, you're looking to hire a Rhode Island divorce attorney for your entire divorce or to engage a divorce lawyer to draft specific documents in your family law proceeding.  This is much different from divorce coaching.

Divorce coaching may also involve approaches, strategies, procedures and other ideas for your divorce or family law proceeding that the Rhode Island Divorce Coach shares with you when and where appropriate.

It's time to bring new innovations to Rhode Island.  Welcome to Rhode Island Divorce Coaching!

As a Rhode Island Lawyer focusing my practice exclusively in the area of Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law, I have learned that when people come in for a consultation they want to tell me their story and they want to be told exactly what they want to hear. 

Yes, despite the fact that every divorce lawyer may not portray a realistic scenario to the potential client, clients need to realize that a lawyer may tell them exactly what they want to hear.

If you skimmed that last paragraph which was only one sentence long and you have already forgotten it, then . . . my dear reader . . .WAKE UP!

I'll repeat it because it is so crucial and I'll even be more blunt.  Some lawyers . . . to get your business . . . will tell you exactly what you want to hear!  They may give you results that are not realistic not just for your divorce case but for ANY divorce case.

Lawyers are businesspeople and they get hit by economic times too.  Without clients they don't have income.  Without income, many of them can't afford that cushy little porshe or mercedes they drive.  Without income,  they may have to consider making a late payment on their house or their summer home.  Without clients, the lifestyle a lawyer may have developed for him or herself doesn't last long.  So the lawyer needs to bring in clients. 

That may be you!  Wouldn't it be nice to go into a divorce lawyer and give him or her a quick snapshot of your life with your spouse and kids and then he or she tells you how everything is going to be fine, that they've dealt with this scenario a million times before and that if you hire them, then they will deal with all that anxiety for you and it will be over before you know it.  Imagine a lawyer telling you that all this stress you are feeling right now is needless because the lawyer is going to get you a great divorce settlement and that you should let him or her deal with it and your troubles will be over.

Now, here you are all comfortable and feeling that this lawyer is going to take care of all your divorce troubles when he tells you the cost.  If you are especially stressed out, are you likely to agree to provide him or her with a $3,500 retainer at an hourly rate of $250 per hour?  Most people will find a way to do so because the lawyer is offering a solution to divorce stress and anxiety in your personal life.  What is more painful to you?  The stress and anxiety at home or parting with a few thousand dollars.  In many instances the stress outweighs the money. 

Some, but not all lawyers will do this.  Let me give you an example that came up recently but I'll change the players and the issue itself to protect the privacy of the individual involved.

Clyde met with me for a consultation.  Clyde wanted to divorce his wife Cassie.  Clyde and Cassie had a fight and Cassie told Clyde that he could go ahead and divorce her because she'd be set for life.  Clyde didn't know what Cassie was talking about so he asked her.  "Well", Cassie snapped, "I've already been to a lawyer and he already explained to me that you're going to have to pay me alimony and I'll be doing just great and you'll be broke."  Clyde looked at her in disbelief. 

"Really?" Clyde stated in disbelief.  "Yes.", Cassie answered.  The lawyer told me that you'll have to pay me alimony "indefinitely".  Clyde answered, "I don't think that's true Cassie.  You may want to check with another lawyer."

Cassie got angrier.  "I don't need you telling me what to do.  I've already seen a lawyer and I know what is going on and my lawyer said you're going to be paying me alimony FOREVER!"

"I don't think that's how it works Cassie. So you may want to check with another Rhode Island divorce lawyer."  Clyde was urging her now.

"Nope.  I like this guy and he's told me exactly how it's going to go for you and I like that just fine.  So go ahead and serve me with the papers because I don't like the way you're handling the money as it is."

In this situation it isn't hard to see what has happened.  Cassie went to a lawyer for what was probably a free consultation and she told the lawyer what was probably only her side of the story.  The economy is hurting and the attorney figured out what Cassie wanted to hear in order to hire him as her attorney.  So the attorney painted Cassie a very rosy picture and told her exactly what she wanted to hear in order to get her as his divorce client.

Only too often this is the rule rather than the exception.

It is best to remember the old adage.  If something sounds too good to be true. . . it probably is!  The easiest way to get a divorce client is to tell him or her what they want to hear instead of being honest about the process and what may or may not occur.

If a lawyer is pressing you to engage him or her as your divorce lawyer, usually this is a warning sign.  If you don't hear a few things that put you on edge during a consultation because they cause you to worry a little, this is another warning sign.  If you hear everything you want to hear AND you are pressured into retaining the lawyer's services quickly this is a warning sign as well.

On rare occasions when there is an uncontested divorce or when the parties have good respect and communication with each other, then it is reasonable to hear everything you want to hear from the lawyer.  Otherwise, if the lawyer doesn't raise some possible issues that give you cause for concern, then you should consider whether the lawyer is just telling you what you want to hear just to get your business, especially if the lawyer stands to gain a substantial hourly rate off the arrangement.

In the end, be careful.  If you hear exactly what you want to hear when there could be issues of alimony, child support, visitation, placement, retirement plans and real estate division, then you should shop around by selecting lawyers who are known to routinely practice divorce law before the Rhode Island Family Courts.

Do you have a Rhode Island divorce that you would like to settle amicably, economically and as quickly as possible?  If so, you may have an uncontested divorce.

So what do you need to be wary of? 

Simply put, hiring the wrong uncontested divorce lawyer!

You would think it would be easier, wouldn't you?  Of course you would!  After all, in an uncontested divorce the parties are more agreeable and they don't want things to be a battle.  That should mean that it makes less work for your uncontested divorce lawyer, right?

Logic would make you think that an uncontested divorce would cost less if you hire any lawyer in Rhode Island.  Sadly, it's not always the case.

Now, I want you to know that there are good lawyers in Rhode Island who will treat your uncontested divorce properly and make a real effort to settle your divorce exactly as you want it . . . amicably, economically and as quickly as possible. 

Regrettably this is not true for all lawyers who might handle your uncontested RI divorce.  As a divorce practitioner I try to maximize my time when I am in court.  Typically I am found working on another client's case to maximize my time before the Judge takes the bench or when the Judge has left the bench to hear conferences or for the morning or afternoon break.  Most of this time is spent trying to block out the chatter of other lawyers when I'm doing this.  However, many times some of it seeps in because of the nature of the conversation.

I overheard a conversation in which one lawyer determined how much it would cost for the lawyer's yearly trips abroad, the cost for payments on the lawyer's summer home, the cost of private school for the lawyer's children and other costs the lawyer had to pay.  What forced its way into my workday as I waited for my conference time with the Judge was the lawyer's statement that he/she had to bring in X number of clients each month and had to make $4,000 off each client in order to make the lawyer's desired income for the year.  The lawyers conversing with each other did not differentiate between a contested case or an uncontested case.  The lawyer's goal was simply to make $4,000 off each client regardless of the circumstances.

If you had an uncontested divorce in Rhode Island and you happened to interview the lawyer in this conversation, and you wanted an amicable, economical divorce as quickly as possible . . . would you want to know the lawyer's underlying financial goals for himself or herself?  Would you hire that lawyer if you knew that the lawyer's expectation was that the lawyer make $4,000 from you by the time your case was completed?

This is the danger Rhode Islanders and others going before the Rhode Island Family Court System and seeking an uncontested Rhode Island Divorce need to be aware of.

In one case I have represented a client whose husband engaged a lawyer who in my professional opinion is without scruples and has little concern for anything other than money.  Very shortly into the case the spouses began to be very amicable with one another.

I always make it a practice to encourage parties to be amicable and to speak with one another to resolve their issues if they are able to do so because it is not only in their own best interests but leads to a faster and less expensive divorce.  The husband apparently came to the conclusion that his divorce lawyer was not interested in being amicable or in being thrifty and the husband decided to terminate his lawyer and work out what would be an uncontested divorce with his wife.

What ensued, to my understanding, was nothing short of reprehensible to any person of moral conduct.  The lawyer supposedly improperly stated that the client could not terminate him and that the lawyer would have to file a motion and go to court and this would cost him another $600 for the court appearance plus the time he had already spent.  After what I can only presume was some form of bullying by using what I suspect to be incorrect information to his own client, the husband provided more funds to the lawyer via a post dated check.  Although the lawyer knew funds were not yet available to cover the check, the lawyer rushed to the bank and deposited it at the earliest possibility.  The husband's own lawyer then threatened that if the funds did not clear that he would "come after him" or "call the police".

Would you want this lawyer to represent you?  Would you really think this lawyer was truly representing your best interests in your divorce? 

The end result?  The husband was apparently so afraid by his own lawyer's threates that he would be sued or arrested that he did not fire the lawyer.  Somehow the husband came to believe that the consequences of terminating his lawyer would be greater than simply going through the process with the lawyer.

If you think this is an isolated lawyer and an isolated case, I must regrettably say that you would be incorrect.  While in my humble opinion this is certainly a case of unethical conduct by a lawyer who professes to look out for the client's interests until they discover otherwise, it is not an isolated incident.

All you need to do is pick up the Rhode Island Providence Journal Bulletin to see the stories about lawyers embezzling funds from clients, misusing funds, and other inappropriate conduct that often lead to lawyers being suspended or disbarred to know how important it is to find the right lawyer, especially if you are seeking an uncontested divorce.

Where do you start?

Have at least three consultations (preferably 5) with lawyers known for practicing divorce law regularly in the Rhode Island Family Court System?   Many lawyers offer free consultations.  Go ahead and take advantage of their free offer.  Note how much time you get with the lawyer.  See whether they start talking about themselves first or if they concentrate on your needs first.  Do they take the time to truly listen?  By the time you leave each consultation, make a note if each lawyer has given you any legal tips, points, or advice that you could use even if you didn't decide to hire that lawyer or if you decided to try to represent yourself.

Lastly, consider putting me on your list of divorce lawyers to see.  Now while I stopped offering the "free consultations" that my colleagues choose to offer because of the abuse of "free consultations", I charge only a nominal fee for my time.  Ultimately I have not had one person who was unhappy with the consultation and the vast majority of people want to hire me but sometimes I have to turn people away so that I can give all my clients the attention they deserve.

No matter what, you don't go away empty handed.  You leave your consultation with solid legal advice and information you can use to help and protect yourself.  Plus, I might just be able to help you get to a good attorney who, not unlike me, will have your best interests at heart.

A divorce lawyer should be guiding you to a better tomorrow, not forcing you into bankruptcy with expensive fees and costs.  You may find that all you need is a little help from me as a Rhode Island Divorce Coach and you'll be on your way to a better tomorrow.

If I've learned anything as a lawyer after practicing Rhode Divorce daily for all these years it is this:

Do these things mean anything to you?

Option #1: You have control over settling your case.

Option #2:  You do not have control over your life to the men and women in black.

Which option sounds better to you for your Rhode Island Divorce?  Would you rather have a choice about your family and your belongings or would you rather put it in the hands of a judge who impartially considers the evidence and renders a decision?