Rhode Island Divorce Tips

Rhode Island divorce lawyers typically consider an uncontested divorce one that is resolved on or before the "Nominal Date" specified on the Summons and Nominal Track Notice contained in the Rhode Island Divorce filing package.  The Nominal date is specified by the Rhode Island Family Court when the Divorce Complaint and other required documents are filed with the court.  The nominal date is set forth both on the Summons and on the Nominal Track Notice both of which are served upon the non-filing spouse.

The Nominal Date typically gives the parties about eight (8) to (10) weeks for the parties to the Rhode Island Divorce to resolve all issues in their divorce.  On the Rhode Island nominal date the the parties come before the court for a 15 minute uncontested hearing (the "Nominal Hearing"). 

The term "nominal hearing" is just as the name implies.  It is a hearing that is truly "in name only".  The word "hearing" typically implies an adversarial process involving the taking of testimony followed by a decision of the court in favor of one or the other of the parties based upon the testimony.

   In a Nominal Hearing, the parties are given the time to place upon the record of the court all facts necessary the court to have jurisdiction over the divorce and the parties as well as all facts and demonstrating what the parties have agreed upon regarding the distribution of the parties assets, debts, medical care provisions, provisions regarding any minor children and any waivers and/or payment of alimony.

    For those seeking a divorce I would like to share with you a recent experience that I wish to share with you that now gives me pause and has caused me to think more about all the divorcing parties I assist.

    On January 15, 2009 I was unfortunate enough to fall on a patch of ice in the parking lot at the apartment complex where I live.  I struck my head a the base of the skull just where the spine meets the skull.  After a "tuning fork" sensation throughout my skull and a a quick sharp pain I seemed fine, so I got up and attended an appointment with a client at the Kent County Family Court.  By the end of the appointment I felt a strange pressure on the back of my head and I began to slur my words.

Approximately by noon I felt a growing pressure on my skull and was in the Emergency Room at Kent County Memorial Hospital.  I was unable to speak or think properly and lost all sense of balance.  For the next five hours I had very little power to move my arms or legs and thinking was exceptionally difficult.  I was exceptionally sleepy and was petrified to fall asleep with the thought that I may never wake up again.

This is enough about me.  The importance about this situation is the attention it called to my law practice, to divorce and to life itself.

I've had cases where people argue over dogs, photos, bed frames, and even the distribution of Christmas ornaments.  My fall was a sobering experience.  It reminded me in no uncertain terms about how foolish we as people often are.  We spend our lives accumulating material possessions and arguing over who will get what in a divorce situation.

In comparison, there is much more to life than the material items we accumulate during life and much time is wasted fighting over those items in a divorce.  The tip to a good uncontested divorce is to focus on life's true values, our ability to move, to talk, to work, to walk and to do the everyday things we take for granted.  Those who fight over meaningless replaceable physical possessions due to some need for a sense of security or some petty need to be vindicated as the "winner" in the divorce are the true losers in divorce battles.

A true uncontested divorce results in minimal time and effort and reaches a reasonable resolution when people realize that a divorce is just as much a chance at a new beginning by a transition from something comfortable to something new and potentially scary.  Yet it adds excitement and vibrancy to life.  If people were truly in love with one another at any time during their marriage, wouldn't they want their spouse to be happy.  Wouldn't a true love want that happiness to exist even if it were not with you?  Otherwise, what was the relationship to begin with?  Is it one person who selfishly wants their spouse to be wonderfully happy but ONLY as long as they remain with YOU and are only happy with YOU?

If your divorce is one that is truly one that is uncontested, then shouldn't both parties realize the true joys of life extend way beyond material goods, beds, chairs, televisions, 401k plans and the like? 

Do you want to move on?  Do you want to have an uncontested divorce that is substantially removed from stress, worry and aggravation?  Learn to give.  Learn that it is not the small replaceable things that make life worth living, but what we are willing to do for our own self-respect and for whatever love your ever had for your spouse.

When you come to terms with the true gifts and benefits of life and stop bickering about life's disposable and replaceable components, then your divorce will become burdenless and more the legal formality it was intended to be than the emotional vendetta too many people escalate it to today.