When you meet someone sometimes it's fate that you fall in love and get married.
Love and marriage tend to follow one another unless it's a marriage of convenience for reasons other than love.
Let's assume that we have a couple that fall in love because they truly care about each other, respect each other and have a genuine and caring relationship for each other's well-being.
Further, let's say that the marriage breaks down for this couple after 10 years. There's no cheating going on. The husband talks to his wife and explains that the relationship isn't the same anymore, they don't talk like they used to, they aren't getting ahead financially and they have different priorities in life.
The husband files for divorce and suddenly the wife goes nuts. She starts stalking him, running up credit card bills that have his name on them, following him to find out who the "other woman" must be. The wife began doing everything in her power to delay the divorce proceedings, financially injure her husband, and withheld visitation from her husband with their children.
It is regrettable that as a practicing Rhode Island Family Law Attorney that I see this all too often, particularly from women who feel rejected or scorned.
It is important that in today's times of animosity, broken homes and children taking to the streets we try to preserve the family relationships that exist in a positive manner.
Grief counseling and individual counseling with marriage therapists is often very helpful and I highly recommend it to those people having trouble "letting go" or find their behavior or thought patterns becoming somewhat obsessive.
A consideration that all spouses may want to consider is this: If you truly fell in love with your spouse and you cared for their well being, wouldn't you want that spouse to be happy?
If you really consider it, even though it may hurt that your spouse did not find happiness with you, wouldn't you want him or her to be happy even if it means that spouse is single or with someone else?
After all, if you truly loved, respected or even wanted the best for someone in their life (which I have to imagine you did if you married the person) wouldn't you want him or her to be happy.
Then why do people treat their spouses so poorly in divorce actions. Does the angry spouse expect that their spouse should only be happy with them?
It is very hard to move on from the relationships we expected to last forever. Divorce is something that most of us never want to discuss or visit.
If you reach that point, where divorce is the only recourse you have or your spouse has because the relationship is no longer working for either of you, it is best to try to remember that you married this person. Yet not only that you married him or her but that there were somekind of feelings, caring and respect when you married them.
So if or when divorce ever arises in your life, keep your dignity and respect the dignity of your spouse. Push the bitterness aside as much as you can and take the higher road. Divorce is merely a return to being a single individual again without that exact person as your spouse anymore.
Perhaps your soulmate is right around the corner.
Perhaps this marriage was to prepare you for something greater and more wonderful than you can possible imagine that has not yet occurred.
Your happiness is key. Taking your divorce to a level of vengeance, arguing, bickering, blaming yourself or jealousy merely prolongs the amount of time it takes you to get to your happiness.
Be good to yourself. Get your divorce over and done with. Move on. Most of all.... BE HAPPY !!
NOTE: The postings on this website are NOT legal advice, DO NOT create an attorney/client relationship and are NOT a substitute for a detailed consultation with an attorney experienced in the state where you have your legal issue. This site is presented for the convenience of the internet public.
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