Rhode Island Divorce Tips by Attorney Chris Pearsall

A Lawyer who Hates Lawyers? What is this RI Divorce Lawyer Really Saying?

Today, I am a Rhode Island lawyer focusing my practice on divorce and divorce coaching.  Looking back decades ago I remember another lawyer who had been practicing in another state for some 40+ years who said something that perplexed me.

* * * Remembering the Lawyer who Hated Lawyers! * * *

The lawyer was about as true, honorable, and generous a gentleman as I have ever met.  He had all the qualities I envisioned a good lawyer would have.  He truly cared about each of his clients.  He fought for each one within the bounds of the law, within his professional code of ethics, and with a high degree of morality. The lawyer knew that I greatly admired him as both a person and as a lawyer.

One extremely hot summer afternoon this lawyer returned to his office after losing a district court hearing.  He plopped himself down in the chair at the opposite end of the short conference room table I was sitting at in his office law library.  His secretary nervously brought him a lemonade and napkin then quickly skirted out of the room.  There was an endless silence.  

Finally, I spoke, 

Chris:  "I'm considering becoming a lawyer."

The lawyer lifted his head, wiped his brow with a napkin, grabbed a nearby law book and flung it across his law library breaking the law book's spine.

It was one of the first times I had ever seen this man so upset.

I was quiet until the lawyer spoke.

Lawyer:  I HATE LAWYERS!

This time the pause was endless yet I was just too puzzled not to speak.

Chris:  "I don't understand!?!  You ARE a lawyer."

The lawyer was quiet again, so I asked it as a question.

Chris:  "How can you hate lawyers when you ARE one? 

The lawyer waited quite awhile before speaking.

Lawyer:  Chris, if you're anything like me, you'll understand when you get there. 

The conversation ended.

* * * 20 Years Later We Agree * * *

I've been working in the legal field now for more than 20 years since that conversation.  

As a Rhode Island lawyer, I am bound by a Professional Code of Ethical Conduct among other things.  There are things that I shouldn't say or do and there are things that I can't say or do despite the right to Free Speech guaranteed to all of us by the United States Constitution.  The layperson would be amazed. 

* * * A Message for Roger * * *

For a point of reference only, the lawyer's name was Roger.

Hopefully he's still alive and hopefully he is in tune enough with today's "internet" that he reads this article.

First, to this great lawyer.

Roger, I was like you.  I understand!

* * * A Message for Readers * * *

Now, to my readers I offer this.

You may not understand this statement until you meet with me.

If you like lawyers, you probably won't like me.

With that said, I can tell you that as a Rhode Island Lawyer who has focused my practice exclusively in the area of divorce and family law, I cannot make your problems go away.  No lawyer can!  Yet some lawyers may tell you they can to get you as a client.

Lawyers can't make your problems go away because fundamentally they are your problems.  Only you can take responsibility for those challenges in your life.  Only you truly have the power to resolve those challenges by your decisions.

However, I can tell you that I can help you understand and get through your Rhode Island divorce or family law challenges by working with you either as your Coach or as your Representative.

* * *  Your Divorce Coaching Program * * *

Roger's words were invaluable.  Today, they are the powerful force motivating the continued growth of your Family Law Coaching program.  

I call it Your Program because it is designed specifically for you.  It is designed to teach you, train you, advise you, inform you, and save you time and money in the areas of divorce and family law.

As Your Coaching Program continues to evolve, it will continue to work faster for you, become more economical for you, and become more helpful for you.

Whatever you choose to believe, there is one thing you can know with certainty. I am one lawyer trying to make a difference for YOU with a new and innovative way of practice designed by hard work, my belief that you can do more than you believe you can at this moment, and your willingness to be open to something new that works. 

What can Your Coaching Program help you with?  Here is a brief list . . .

Rhode Island Divorces & Legal Separations, Rhode Island Child Support Establishment, Modifications, Collections and Terminations, Rhode Island Child Custody Matters and Child Custody Modifications, Rhode Island Petitions to Enforced Marital Settlement Agreements and Property Settlement Agreements, Preparing Pre-Nuptual Agreements and Ante-Nuptual Agreements in Rhode Island, RI Petitions to Move Out of State with Minor Children, Petitions to Establish Paternity in Rhode Island, Rhode Island Motions to Adjudge In Contempt and Defense of those Contempt Motions, Protection from Abuse Petitions and Defense Against Such Petitions, Rhode Island Motions and Petitions to Establish, Modify or Terminate Visitation, RI Common Law Divorces and their Defense, Rhode Island Legal Rights, Rhode Island Family Court Procedures, 2nd Opinions about your Attorney on Rhode Island Divorce Cases, Pro Se Representation (i.e. Representing Yourself Appropriately in Family Court), and many more . . . 

Look for the Testimonials Section about Your Coaching Program which is coming soon.  Feel Free to Call Me for a low-cost Coaching Session!

Attorney Christopher A. Pearsall - Phone: (401) 632-6976

The Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer Expands on the Rhode Island Bar Association Web Site: What Kind of Issues Will I Discuss with my Attorney During my First Visit?

The following excerpt is a brief question and answer provided on the Rhode Island Bar Association website and previously noted at RhodeIslandDivorceTips.com as part of my expansion article series to give people a more detailed answer to the questions posed on the Rhode Island Bar Association's website regarding divorce:
 

WHAT KIND OF ISSUES WILL I DISCUSS WITH MY ATTORNEY DURING THE FIRST VISIT?

The separation of a married couple is one of the most traumatic occurrences in one's life. An attorney will address both family and emotional issues, including consideration of marriage counseling or other steps to help save the marriage; assisting you as a parent in meeting the needs of your children; and handling financial matters such as real estate and personal property. You should also be sure to discuss, and fully understand, the attorney's fee arrangement at the first meeting.

via www.rhodeislanddivorcetips.com  from  www.ribar.com

Your first meeting with your Rhode Island Divorce attorney will vary from divorce lawyer to divorce lawyer.  However, it could consist of any number of subjects relating to your divorce.  

If you haven't formally retained the divorce attorney then you should reasonably expect that your meeting will consist of discussing the following subjects:

1.  Formalizing and executing the written engagement agreement between you and your divorce attorney;

2.  Discussing the scope of the attorney/client relationship and each party's rights in that relationship;

3.  Identifying the documents you will need to provide to your attorney either a)  to file for divorce, or b) the documents needed to respond to the divorce documents that have been served upon you;

If you have already retained you divorce attorney, signed the formal agreement, and discussed the scope of the attorney/client relationship, then you should reasonably expect that your meeting with your divorce lawyer may include:

1. Providing your divorce attorney with the documents he or she has requested for your case;

2.  Discussion of the conduct of each of the parties during the course of the marriage both as to financial expenditures and contributions within the marriage and infidelities;

3.  Discussion of your assets, debts and minor children, if appropriate, and what you might be willing to settle for, assuming you are aware of all the facts;

4.  The manner in which you and your attorney choose to move forward in your divorce proceeding.
 

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

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* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  There is no recognition for specialization of attorneys in any area of law.

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Understanding Your Engagement Ring in a Rhode Island Divorce Proceeding!

Engagement rings in Rhode Island Divorce proceedings are not typically a source of contention between the spouses.   Typically an engagement ring is not considered a marital asset. Therefore it is not subject to the Rhode Island family court's power of equitable distribution (i.e. power to divide the marital portion of assets between the divorcing parties).  In fact, the vast majority of cases where the wife's engagement ring is seriously debated occurs usually when the engagement ring has a substantial value and something changed about to the ring after the marriage.

The theory is understandable.  A marriage is a contract though it is seldom seen in that light by the parties.  For instance, when a man asks a woman to marry him and offers an engagement ring, the ring is the consideration for one contract.  In that case, the man is asks the woman to marry him and offers the ring to essentially "seal the deal" so to speak.  However, it then falls to the woman to decide if she will say "yes" and accept the offered ring.  If the woman says "yes" and accepts the offered ring, then a contract has been formed.  The man has made and offer and in return for that offer has asked for a promise that she will marry him and an acceptance of the ring.

Let's assume that the man no longer wants to marry the woman and changes his mind.  The man has now broken the engagement contract.  If he demands the ring back, the woman has no obligation to return the ring so long as she has still been prepared to marry the man and hold up her end of the "bargain."

However, if the woman no longer wants to marry the man and changes her mind, she is obligated to return the ring because she has broken their engagement contract and she is generally not allowed to profit from her own breach of the engagement contract which is exactly what would occur if she were to break the engagement contract AND keep the man's offered ring as well.  If it were otherwise, this would lead to women accepting men's proposals just to get the ring and not because they even intended to marry the man and simply tell the man she has changed her mind shortly thereafter and keep the ring.

When a marriage occurs, it is a separate and distinct contract made at the time of the ceremony where both parties perform as they promised rather than simply exchanging an offer for a promise.  In that case the wedding rings themselves seal that contract of marriage as well as the promises they make to each other for the duration of the marriage. 

Therefore, if nothing happens to the engagement ring during the marriage, it should be considered pre-marital or at least non-marital in nature because it existed and belonged to the woman before the marriage contract was formed.  Thus, it should not be within the power of the Rhode Island Divorce and Family Court to distribute it.  It was the woman's property before the marriage and simply wearing the ring during the marriage does not make it marital in nature.

The issue arises when something happens to the ring during the marriage.  Consider for example that a stone in the ring becomes chipped and as a result it loses value.  Let's say that marital income from either the husband, wife or both is used to purchase homeowner's insurance.  Now, if an insurance claim is made for the damage to the ring and funds received from that claim are used to replace that stone (i.e. diamond, etc. . ) now, marital funds have been used to repair or replace a part of the ring.  Once marital funds are used in any way on the ring, the previously pre-marital ring now is commingled with marital income (which is a marital asset) and they now convert the character of the ring from pre-marital to marital.

Other arguable examples that would change the ring to a marital character are:

1)  Adding new stones using marital income.
2)  Fixing the setting using marital income.
3)  Pledging the ring as collateral for something marital being purchased as a couple.

Authored By:

  Christopher A. Pearsall
Money Making Entrepreneur and Attorney-at-Law
70 Dogwood Drive, Suite 304
West Warwick, RI 02893

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*The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.
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Rhode Island Divorce - Medical Bills and Medical Expenses in Divorce

Rhode Island Divorce Question:

I am a mother who was awarded placement of my son, Theodore, by a Rhode Island family court judge at a hearing on Temporary Allowances.  The judge also ordered that while we sort out the entire divorce I am responsible for 1/2 of Theodore's medical bills and my husband is responsible for the other half.

After the order, Theodore got sick and I took him to the doctors and he was given a regimen of antibiotics.  I tried to explain to the doctor's office and the pharmacy that my husband had to pay half by the court order in our Rhode Island Divorce but they both made me pay the full co-pay for the appointment and prescription. 

I called my husband and told him he needed to pay me back half of the amounts I paid for our son per the divorce court's order.  He asked me to send him copies of the doctor's receipt and prescription receipt.  I sent him  the copies a week later.  I've waited another week now and I haven't received a dime from my husband.

Theodore has two follow-up  appointments coming up.  I just can't be footing the bill for all of this money up front.  What is going on?  How is this supposed to work?

Rhode Island Divorce Tip:

Your situation is an understandable one.  You are certainly not alone.  Many mothers and fathers who have placement of their minor children by a Rhode Island Divorce Court order find themselves in this situation.

Typically, the placement parent has the children and is the primary caretaker of the children.  As a result, parents often respond instinctively.  Parents don't typically pull out there divorce file and all the Orders that may be in it in order to analyze what they should do.  In fact, the thought of a parent doing that when his or her child is sick is somewhat absurd.

What a placement parent will do is to take the child to the doctor and get the child his or her medicine, just like you have done! 

Placement has its benefits.  As the placement parent, you have the benefit of being the person to be the primary caretaker of your child and have a substantial influence on their upbringing.  You often have the benefit of child support, and medical coverage or a medical financial contribution from the parent with visitation.  In the end, if you are the placement parent, you are very likely to get the tax deductions for the minor children in your care if the court makes such an order.

The point of explaining this to you is to help you understand that what you have describing is one of the small detriments that comes with being a placement parent.  It is usually referred to as "presentment". 

As the placement parent, typically it is the expectation that you pay for the medical costs upfront and then send copies as proof of payment to the other spouse so that (in this case) he has proof of the costs and can pay his 1/2 of the legitimate expenses that you have paid and a reasonable time to pay his (or her) share.

Providing the copies of the actual bills that have been paid and that the other parent is required to pay some portion of is known as "presentment". 

Typically courts will allow thirty (30) days as a reasonable presentment period (amount of notice by sending copies of the actual bills that that placement parent paid) to give the other parent the opportunity to make payment.

It should be noted that this is only a rule of thumb, that judges have discretion in this regard, and the amount, ages of the bills ,and the ability to verify the bill may all come into play.

In this case it is reasonable to allow thirty (30) days after the non-placement parent receives the proof of the bills for the non-placement parent to make payment pursuant to the Rhode Island Family Court's order.

Please note that this assumes that the information in the question is accurate.  Each person's situtation is different and other factors may affect the response to this question if the questioner has left out pertinent facts.

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all lawyers in the general practice of law and has no procedure for recognition of specialty in any area of law.

Authored by:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
PEARSALL LAW ASSOCIATES
571 Pontiac Avenue
Cranston, RI  02910
Phone:  (401) 354-2369

NOTE:  The postings on this website are NOT legal advice, DO NOT create an attorney/client relationship and are NOT a substitute for a detailed consultation with an attorney experienced in the state where you have your legal issue.  This site is presented for the convenience of the internet public.

Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer: Orders to Heed - Part 1

One tip your Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer may overlook is advising you in advance of filing a complaint for divorce is explaining to you the Rhode Island Family Court's Automatic Orders.

Automatic Orders - What are they?

Automatic Orders are just that, Orders of the Court carrying the full authority of law that apply to every divorce case filed in the Rhode Island Family Courts . The Automatic Orders are contained in an official form called, not surprisingly, Automatic Orders, that must be served upon the Defendant with the Plaintiff's Rhode Island Divorce Complaint, Summons and other accompanying documents that depend upon the factual circumstances of your specific case.

Who is bound by the Automatic Orders in a Rhode Island Divorce case?

Both the plaintiff and defendant (thus, both spouses) n a Rhode Island Divorce are bound by the Rhode Island Family Courts Automatic Orders.

What is the purpose of the Automatic Orders in a Rhode Island Divorce case?

There is no specifically stated purpose for the Automatic Orders of the Rhode Island Family court that anyone could direct you to and Rhode Island attorneys practicing in the area of divorce and family law may differ slightly about the phrasing of the purpose of the Automatic Orders, yet I believe the general principle can be summed up as "status quo".

The Automatic Orders substantially prohibit any significant changes in financial circumstances by either party, at least to the extent that such changes are in the party's control.  For example, neither party may change beneficiaries on life insurance policies or transfer or encumber property that is owned either individually or jointly.

The consistent statement and argument that I have personally heard used most both by Rhode Island Divorce and family law attorneys as well as judges is that the purpose of the court's Automatic Orders is to preserve the status quo between the parties.

Ultimately, the court doesn't want the parties playing games with the finances or items such as insurances, etc... that may adversely affect the other spouse during the divorce proceeding and therefore, unless the Automatic Orders are specifically modified by a motion presented to, and granted by the family court, the best rule of thumb is to continue managing all financial, asset and debt matters as it had been the parties' practice to do during the course of the marriage.

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