Rhode Island Divorce Tips by Attorney Chris Pearsall

A Lawyer who Hates Lawyers? What is this RI Divorce Lawyer Really Saying?

Today, I am a Rhode Island lawyer focusing my practice on divorce and divorce coaching.  Looking back decades ago I remember another lawyer who had been practicing in another state for some 40+ years who said something that perplexed me.

* * * Remembering the Lawyer who Hated Lawyers! * * *

The lawyer was about as true, honorable, and generous a gentleman as I have ever met.  He had all the qualities I envisioned a good lawyer would have.  He truly cared about each of his clients.  He fought for each one within the bounds of the law, within his professional code of ethics, and with a high degree of morality. The lawyer knew that I greatly admired him as both a person and as a lawyer.

One extremely hot summer afternoon this lawyer returned to his office after losing a district court hearing.  He plopped himself down in the chair at the opposite end of the short conference room table I was sitting at in his office law library.  His secretary nervously brought him a lemonade and napkin then quickly skirted out of the room.  There was an endless silence.  

Finally, I spoke, 

Chris:  "I'm considering becoming a lawyer."

The lawyer lifted his head, wiped his brow with a napkin, grabbed a nearby law book and flung it across his law library breaking the law book's spine.

It was one of the first times I had ever seen this man so upset.

I was quiet until the lawyer spoke.

Lawyer:  I HATE LAWYERS!

This time the pause was endless yet I was just too puzzled not to speak.

Chris:  "I don't understand!?!  You ARE a lawyer."

The lawyer was quiet again, so I asked it as a question.

Chris:  "How can you hate lawyers when you ARE one? 

The lawyer waited quite awhile before speaking.

Lawyer:  Chris, if you're anything like me, you'll understand when you get there. 

The conversation ended.

* * * 20 Years Later We Agree * * *

I've been working in the legal field now for more than 20 years since that conversation.  

As a Rhode Island lawyer, I am bound by a Professional Code of Ethical Conduct among other things.  There are things that I shouldn't say or do and there are things that I can't say or do despite the right to Free Speech guaranteed to all of us by the United States Constitution.  The layperson would be amazed. 

* * * A Message for Roger * * *

For a point of reference only, the lawyer's name was Roger.

Hopefully he's still alive and hopefully he is in tune enough with today's "internet" that he reads this article.

First, to this great lawyer.

Roger, I was like you.  I understand!

* * * A Message for Readers * * *

Now, to my readers I offer this.

You may not understand this statement until you meet with me.

If you like lawyers, you probably won't like me.

With that said, I can tell you that as a Rhode Island Lawyer who has focused my practice exclusively in the area of divorce and family law, I cannot make your problems go away.  No lawyer can!  Yet some lawyers may tell you they can to get you as a client.

Lawyers can't make your problems go away because fundamentally they are your problems.  Only you can take responsibility for those challenges in your life.  Only you truly have the power to resolve those challenges by your decisions.

However, I can tell you that I can help you understand and get through your Rhode Island divorce or family law challenges by working with you either as your Coach or as your Representative.

* * *  Your Divorce Coaching Program * * *

Roger's words were invaluable.  Today, they are the powerful force motivating the continued growth of your Family Law Coaching program.  

I call it Your Program because it is designed specifically for you.  It is designed to teach you, train you, advise you, inform you, and save you time and money in the areas of divorce and family law.

As Your Coaching Program continues to evolve, it will continue to work faster for you, become more economical for you, and become more helpful for you.

Whatever you choose to believe, there is one thing you can know with certainty. I am one lawyer trying to make a difference for YOU with a new and innovative way of practice designed by hard work, my belief that you can do more than you believe you can at this moment, and your willingness to be open to something new that works. 

What can Your Coaching Program help you with?  Here is a brief list . . .

Rhode Island Divorces & Legal Separations, Rhode Island Child Support Establishment, Modifications, Collections and Terminations, Rhode Island Child Custody Matters and Child Custody Modifications, Rhode Island Petitions to Enforced Marital Settlement Agreements and Property Settlement Agreements, Preparing Pre-Nuptual Agreements and Ante-Nuptual Agreements in Rhode Island, RI Petitions to Move Out of State with Minor Children, Petitions to Establish Paternity in Rhode Island, Rhode Island Motions to Adjudge In Contempt and Defense of those Contempt Motions, Protection from Abuse Petitions and Defense Against Such Petitions, Rhode Island Motions and Petitions to Establish, Modify or Terminate Visitation, RI Common Law Divorces and their Defense, Rhode Island Legal Rights, Rhode Island Family Court Procedures, 2nd Opinions about your Attorney on Rhode Island Divorce Cases, Pro Se Representation (i.e. Representing Yourself Appropriately in Family Court), and many more . . . 

Look for the Testimonials Section about Your Coaching Program which is coming soon.  Feel Free to Call Me for a low-cost Coaching Session!

Attorney Christopher A. Pearsall - Phone: (401) 632-6976

RI Common Law Divorce - Does the Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer Ask Enough Questions?

Being a dedicated Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer involves more than just an advertisement in the Yellow Pages touting that you handle divorce cases.  It also means much more than just having a placard outside your door indicating that you handle divorce cases that has been sitting there for the past twenty (20) years.  It means staying abreast of legal developments in divorce and family law at least on major issues.

Consider this family lawyer scenario.

A prospective divorce client is referred by a friend to a person referred as a "good divorce lawyer."  So the prospective client makes an appointment and meets with the lawyer.  The prospective client hands the papers received from the constable to the divorce lawyer.  The lawyer quickly reads the papers.  The brief meeting goes something like this.

DIVORCE LAWYER:  Well, these papers claim that you are a spouse in a "common law" marriage that was created by Rhode Island Law, that your marriage has broken down, and now your spouse wants a divorce. These are your divorce papers.

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  What marriage?!  We never got married.  She's my girlfriend and I might consider marrying her when I'm ready but we sure as hell aren't married right now.

DIVORCE LAWYER:  Depending on the facts, Rhode Island law allows a judge to declare that you are married and may have been married for some time.

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  Well how the heck would I know?

DIVORCE LAWYER:  Let me ask you a few questions.

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  Okay.

DIVORCE LAWYER:  Now you said you never got married, but how long did the two of you live together?

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  Pretty long now . . .almost 13 years.

DIVORCE LAWYER:   Do you own any property together?

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  Just the house we're living in right now.

DIVORCE LAWYER:   How do you file your taxes?

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  Well, the past 3 years we filed jointly.

DIVORCE LAWYER:  There's no point fighting it.  A judge is going to find a common law marriage here.  You tax filings make it a virtual certainty.

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  But we never got married I tell you and I've got . . [interrupted by the Divorce Lawyer]

DIVORCE LAWYER:  I'm sure I can get you a good settlement despite what these papers are looking for. Now the papers were served on you almost 20 days ago so we need to answer this Complaint in the next few days or you could get defaulted.  

Now my secretary will take some information from you on the way out and she'll have you sign a copy of my retainer agreement and give you a copy along with a questionaire.  Before we end for today I'll need a check payable to me for $3,500 so I can answer this complaint before you get defaulted so while you do that. . . [interrupted by the Prospective Divorce Client]

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT: I'd like to thank you for your time but I need to process this and I have an appointment scheduled with another attorney I'd like to meet with.

DIVORCE LAWYER:  But you don't have very much time and . . .

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT: I understand.  You've told me that.  I'll call you if I want to proceed further.  I'll show myself out.  

The Prospective Divorce Client left this particular divorce lawyer's office.

Okay, let's snap back to you as the reader sitting there reading and considering this little exchange.  Now imagine that you are the one seeking to hire a lawyer and you are expected by this divorce lawyer to plunk down $3,500 of your hard earned money for this lawyer to represent you.  

What are we talking about here?  We are talking about a lawyer who gave advice to a prospective client that opposing the Complaint for a Common Law divorce is not worth it even when the client insists there was no marriage. Clearly that isn't what the prospective client would like to hear. Yet there are times when a client has to realize the truth now matter how difficult it may be to swallow.  But is this the truth?  

The divorce lawyer asked only three (3) questions before making the determination, and even more important the divorce lawyer didn't even bother to ask the prospective divorce client about any of the facts and circumstances surrounding the prospective client's life, relationship, and lifestyle with this person who alleges they are married.

Ask yourself, does it make sense that Rhode Island law forms a marriage right out of thin air without signed documents, without a marriage certificate, and without any document telling either party not only that they are married to one anyone but "WHEN" that marriage occurred.

Okay, well these are only three things.  Let's assume that it could be and still cover these three things.  but there must be more, right?  Doesn't it boggle your mind?  I mean, do you have to be a lawyer to feel a bit unnerved and a bit shocked that such a powerful thing with so many legal benefits and obligations as marriage . . . could be formed so easily?  If it doesn't make you wonder... then it should.

Divorce lawyer or not, if you were Spiderman, then your "Spidey Senses" would be tingling like crazy, or as a prospective female divorce client your women's intuition should be sending a signal throughout your body telling you that it doesn't make sense that a divorce lawyer could have you answer three (3) simple questions and essentially tell you to 1) agree that you are married when you haven't "officially married" the person and 2) not to oppose the divorce papers!

Think about it divorce laws themselves.  Doesn't it even defy common sense to think that people who never got married and didn't think of themselves that way are, in fact, married?

The divorce lawyer has not shown you as the prospective divorce client a single stitch of anything that says if you give those particular answers to those particular questions that you are "in fact" married under Rhode Island Common Law.  Based simply upon a referral, or even may appear to you to be a phenomenal reputation the lawyer may have as a "good divorce lawyer", . . . I urge you to consider using your wits and let your wisdom and common sense guide you.

Being a good Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer does not necessarily mean that the lawyer is good at determining who is married under Rhode Island Common Law.

Wouldn't you be inclined to look deeper than that?  Perhaps you would demand a clearer explanation as to where it can be found that you are considered "married" under those circumstances.  More specifically, wouldn't you want to know precisely where in the law it says that your answers prove that you are definitely married under common law.

I will suggest to you that if such a scenario were to occur, and I can assure you it has by more than a few lawyers, that in the very least you keep your head on straight and ask yourself this simple question, Did the Lawyer Ask Me Enough Questions?  

Why?  Because the divorce lawyer in this scenario, in my professional opinion has missed at least a dozen questions that need to be asked for a thorough examination of a Rhode Island Common Law Marriage matter.   

So what happens if the divorce lawyer doesn't ask enough questions?  Well, the advice is, in the very least flawed.  More likely, the legal advice is simply wrong and the lawyer is doing you a disservice.  The end result?  You are not properly represented and you are unable to exercise the options and alternatives you may have access to simply because the divorce lawyer didn't do a proper analysis of the common law marriage in the first place.

We will address both what this lack of knowledge and thoroughness could do to you by discussing some of the factors regarding the formation of Common Law Marriages in Rhode Island in another article.  The damages that could be caused to you as the prospective divorce client by an improper evaluation can be astronomical depending upon the circumstances.

For now, I will close with this thought.  Common law marriages are far more complex than typical marriages and the same goes for common law divorce proceedings because they are filled with even more questions that must be answered.  Common law marriages may be argued and it is one of the few cases where a divorce may be denied simply because a marriage did not exist.  

Common law marriages in Rhode Island are not as easily formed and they are certainly not as easily dissolved.  Therefore, if you are faced with a boyfriend, girlfriend, or domestic partner of any kind who claims you are married, and you are not, you need the help of a skilled divorce and family law lawyer who knows the law and knows the court system.  

To find your divorce lawyer, you will need to remain sharper than the average person when seeking a divorce lawyer.  As a lawyer dealing with marriages and their dissolution (divorces) almost exclusively for more than a decade, I will offer you this rule of thumb.  If the RI divorce lawyers you are interviewing to represent you, or to give you advice do not ask you to explain your relationship and you are not asked at least a dozen questions, then you should consider another divorce lawyer.  

The fewer questions you are asked, the greater indicator that the "divorce lawyer" simply isn't up to speed on his or her common law marriage doctrines or the current cases on the subject (something necessary for the divorce or matrimonial lawyer you will want to hire).

So remember this question, Is this divorce lawyer I am considering asking me enough questions before giving me any determination as to whether I am more likely or less likely to be considered married under Rhode Island Law?   Less questions generally equate to less knowledge, less accuracy, less options and less left for you to continue your life within in the end.

For today, this is your Rhode Island Divorce Coach reminding you that awareness is the key.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2007 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com| Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com | Rhode Island Family Law Lawyer - RI Consumer Tips

Rhode Island Divorce Clients will be happier if they are Realistic and Practical about their Divorce!

Are you a prospective Rhode Island Divorce client?  This may be of interest to you if you are even contemplating filing for divorce in Rhode Island but you don't know what to expect or whether your spouse will fly off the handle.

Here's a recipe for spouses in a divorce you might want to consider.  I've kept this to the most basic of fundamental ingredients that I've seen make a Rhode Island Divorce Settlement work.  So if you have questions or comments, by all means, post them and get them answered so this recipe can be explained further if it needs to be.

* * * RHODE ISLAND DIVORCE SETTLEMENT * * * 

* * * MY INTELLECTUAL RECIPE FOR SETTLEMENT * * *

1.  It Takes Two!

You and your spouse must both follow this recipe in order for it to work.  The sooner you do, the sooner you are likely to reach a settlement to your divorce case.

2.  Discard your emotions.  

Got that!  There is no emotion in the Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer's recipe for settlement.  You may find this to be the most challenging part of this recipe because you may feel tons of emotion over the news that your spouse wants a divorce or even if you've both decided mutually that a divorce is the best thing for each of you.  However, if you allow emotion to become part of the recipe for your divorce, you actually prevent settlement.  Remember it this way.  Emotion prevents Motion!
 

3.  Discard your thoughts of "entitlement."  

This isn't easy either, whether you are getting divorced or not.  Life itself isn't really about entitlement. Entitlement is something that we as people create in our minds and it changes as our thoughts change.  So, do yourself a favor and simply take personal responsibility for your own life.  If you were adult enough to get married, you could make any other decision that you needed to in order to survive, protect yourself, take care of yourself, and control your own life.  

The best example of what happens to resolving Sylvester Stallone in one of the Rocky movies from the 1980's said it best when his brother-in-law (Paulie) said to him "I'm entitled."   Rocky responded by saying something akin to "Nobody's entitled!  We do because we want to do."  I've tried to include that little clip here because it is a very good analogy as to the fights that occur when emotions and entitlement happen in a relationship.  Unfortunately, in a divorce things don't end as quickly.  If you notice, Rocky and Paulie continued their relationship and Paulie still had the idea that he was entitled to all that Rocky had built up.  Paulie never took personal responsibility for his own decisions and life choices that led him to where he was in his life.    (My Apologies - Excerpt being reformatted..)

4.  Fill your divorce settlement mixing bowl with a huge bag of heavy duty reality.

The heavy duty reality of any divorce is that when you and your spouse settle your case amicably, you do so on your terms for your lives.  

You are in control!  

Realistically, if you both hire lawyers or end up reaching Case Management Conferences in the Rhode Island Family Court, then one of you either is not following the recipe or you have a lawyer who is making waves (possibly where he or she should not be),  costing you money, prolonging your divorce, and preventing you from moving forward in your life.  While technically you still have control it is all too easy for your attorney to assume control without you knowing it or realizing it because he or she will do what they believe to be right in your best interests legally.

5.  Fill your RI divorce settlement mixing bowl with a heaping portion of heavy duty practicality. 

This is one of the most important ingredients because without this you just won't see the big picture.  Be practical in this instance more than you have ever been in your life.  What will it cost you if you don't follow this recipe?

If you hire a lawyer to go to court for you, then you should plan on paying for that lawyer yourself because in most cases that's what happens regardless of where you get the funds from. So, practically speaking you can kiss several thousand dollars goodbye and that's just to start.

Practically speaking, when you hire a lawyer you lose some measure of control of your case, your settlement, and your life.  So practically speaking you can say goodbye to some or all of the control you have over this tremendously important part of your life.

If you don't want to follow this divorce settlement recipe, that's your decision. However, it's almost inevitable that you are going to lose or waste a chunk of time in your life consumed by your divorce which prevents you from being happy and moving on in a healthy manner.  So go ahead and say goodbye to a good chunk of time in your life because you've wasted it on a divorce, emotional chaos, stress, depression, anxiety, and perhaps even creating permanent damage to your health.

These are just a few things that the lack of practicality will cause you to miss.  So if you don't want to follow the recipe, you and your spouse can (and probably will) lose money, time, happiness, control and worst of all your mental, physical and emotional health.  

Yet look at all the wonderful things you will gain such as debt, anxiety, lost time from work, school or your children, poor health, unhappiness, resentment, attorney's fees and litigation costs, possible alienation from your children and much more.

6.  Then mix in the best interests of the children followed by the assets, the debts, and lastly the living needs of each party while sprinkling in a generous amounts of common sense and reasonableness.

7.  Once it is thoroughly mixed, divide the mixture and round them out in sizes created by agreement and cooked until they are golden brown.  Hand the tray to the judge for review and approval.

If this sounds like an absurd way to look at a divorce settlement to you, then I certainly respect your opinion.  If you would rather that I called it a "formula" and used chemistry or something more in tune with either the legal profession or something more or a scholarly nature, then you may certainly substitute your own analogy for the "recipe" that I have offered here.  

Ultimately, as a Rhode Island lawyer focusing my practice in Rhode Island divorce and family law I've seen this recipe work time and time again.  In fact, I've learned more about this "recipe" or "formula" from the people who have come to me for my low-cost divorce coaching than from any experience I've ever had in the practice of law.

Do you want some very good divorce coaching?  

Here it is.  You may want to show this article to your spouse and see if the two of you can follow this recipe and reach an agreement, calmly, quietly and respectfully.  If you need some help, talk it out and decide which one of you wants to call me for a little coaching on the subject. 

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2007 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com| Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com | Rhode Island Family Law Lawyer - RI Consumer Tips

If Your Rhode Island Divorce is Uncontested, do you need a Divorce Lawyer?

As a lawyer who has focused my practice in the area of Rhode Island Divorce law for the past decade, one would think that my answer to this question would be "Yes."

However, in the world of law, divorce and courtrooms things are not always as clear cut as we would like them to be.

Consider this Rhode Island Divorce Example that I came up with as I write this article which will develop more as a stream of consciousness than a well planned out and upscale legal article.

* * * Divorce Example of Bristol, Rhode Island Couple Virginia and Aaron  * * *

Virginia and Aaron have been married for 7 years.  They have 3 minor children.  Virginia works part-time because they don't make enough income to afford full-time childcare costs for both of them to work full-time.  As a couple Virginia and Aaron merely get by from week to week, paycheck to paycheck.  Like many couples, financial struggles have torn them apart as husband and wife and Virginia now wants a divorce because she wanted more out of life and doesn't seem to be finding it with Aaron. 

Virginia has never filed for divorce before and doesn't know anything about Rhode Island law or Rhode Island Divorce procedure.  Virginia speaks with 7 lawyers who offer free consultations and after about 30 minutes of their time quote her between $1,500 and $3,500 for their retainers and hourly rates from $175 per hour to $300 per hour.

If Virginia and Aaron agree on their divorce issues, do they need a divorce lawyer?  Legally speaking, one or the other of them really should get some competent legal advice to get through their divorce in the easiest manner possible.

* * * Rhode Island Divorce Lessons * * *

So what is the greatest issue here?  It's the age old problem of MONEY!  Lawyers want and need to get paid for their services.  I can tell you that lawyers services are, in fact, valuable.  The depth of information that a lawyer is expected to know in any field of law requires life-long learning and exposes us to daily liability for every word the comes out of our mouths.  Sometimes I even regret telling people that I'm a lawyer at a social engagement because invariably someone wants to just "run something by me" to "get my thoughts".  It can be very difficult to avoid offending the person and avoid giving my "thoughts" which the person might consider as legal advice and act on.  The next thing you know, the person does something crazy with the tiny information I gave them and now I am called "their lawyer" and I gave them "legal advice".  This is precisely why few if any divorce lawyers in Rhode Island (other than my new Coaching Program) make it a practice to offer anything other than a "one size fits all" proposition to prospective new clients.

As Virginia learned, if you aren't prepared to come up with a decent lump sum of money that the attorney can bill against against at whatever rate the attorney feels he or she is worth then you are out of luck.  Attorneys doing piece meal work are hard to find and attorneys who are willing to take your case on a pro bono basis are even harder because of the huge demand and pressures already placed on attorneys to perform pro bono work each year regardless of whether their practice may be thriving or just treading water due to increased expenses or other economic factors.

So for Virginia and Aaron, do they absolutely NEED a divorce lawyer?  No, they don't.  Why, because practically speaking Virginia already knows that she and her husband can't afford the least expensive lawyer they could find and Virginia has already discovered that they waiting line for pro bono attorneys is exceptionally long. 

So what do you do if you are in Virginia and Aaron's position?  You do what you have to do, right?  Isn't that what we do when things get tough?  Don't most of us just get out there and do what needs to get done when we have to for our benefit and for major life decisions. Yes, that's exactly what we do.

So, Virginia and Aaron, could you do this on your own?  Yes, you could.  You could do your homework on the internet, at the nearest law library and even find time to go to court and watch a few cases to see how things work.  Will you be as prepared?  Maybe not. It may depend upon how much effort you put into finding out how to do things.

Will you get your divorce paperwork back from the Rhode Island Family court with it all filed correctly?  Maybe not the first time.  However, f it's rejected the family court clerks will usually give you some kind of indication of what didn't quite make the grade or what was missing. 

However, If the Rhode Island Family Court clerks don't tell you how to fill out the forms, how to correct them, or why they need to be filled out in a certain way, it's simply because they are prevented from doing so.  They are not your attorney and they are not allowed to advise you because the vast majority of them are not attorneys and since they work for the State of Rhode Island it may expose them and the State of Rhode Island to liability if you misunderstand what they tell you or if they leave out something without knowing that it applies to your situation. 

So if you are going to execute your constitutional right to represent yourself and handle your divorce on your own, you take the risk as well and you should plan on some bumps in the road.  You're on your own unless you get some legal advice or coaching to help you through this process. There may be only minor bumps in your divorce proceeding if you get lucky.  There may be bumps in the road that are so large that you can't even get through a successful hearing because you don't understand what is required by law or by the court's procedure.

So the question is better phrased like this, Am I required to have a lawyer represent me in my Rhode Island Divorce?  NO!  I've seen plenty of people represent themselves in divorces.  They've gone from A to Z and received their divorce decree without a lawyer preparing their forms or showing up in court with them. 

Now, if one couple can make it through an uncomplicated and straightforward divorce between two amicable and agreeable spouses, then, the question is... Can you do it?  It is certainly possible. I know that with my assistance and coaching I've been able to coach as many as 100 couples in a single year to go through their own divorces successfully and spend only a fraction of what it costs to hire even the least expensive lawyer such as the one Virginia came across.

In most Rhode Island divorce situations that are uncontested about the majority of Rhode Island divorce issues, do you need a representational lawyer who does everything for you and goes to court with you?  In my opinion, people who fall into this category don't need it. 

If you fall into that category it is best if you approach your divorce as a learning experience.  Your strength will be found in realizing that there are certain procedures and issues under Rhode Island law that must be addressed.  Once you identify the Rhode Island procedures and legal issues and you represent yourself, you need to take personal responsibility for everything that goes along with representing yourself, that includes your outcome, any setbacks and any problems you encounter. 

Remember that representing yourself means that you are the boss.  You call the shots.  You are responsible for everything you say and do and the end result that your actions produce.  If you do happen to get help in the form of coaching, the coach doesn't call the shots, the coach isn't standing in the courtroom and the coach has merely provided you with guidance based upon his or her experience.  Judgment calls and execution of either legal advice from an attorney you have formally retained in the courtroom are the attorney's discretion and he or she takes responsibility for that and for any glaring mistakes he or she makes in your representation.  Keep in mind that this is why attorneys are paid for their experience and expertise to prepare documents, give you direct advice on what to do and also represent you in court.  The same is not true when you represent yourself.  In that case, you are your own attorney and you are expected to know the ins and outs of things as if you were an attorney licensed to practice divorce law in Rhode Island.

Even an experienced Rhode Island Divorce lawyer who is helping you in the manner of a "coach" by instructing you and teaching you in a general fashion can't anticipate everything you will encounter.  If you don't handle documents or issues properly then it is entirely possible that your divorce might plummet to the ground like a flaming plane crashing before it reaches the end of the runway when a person represents him or herself and does so in such a poor manner that the judge dismisses your divorce case. 

So, what does that mean for you because you didn't seek professional help from anyone?  Let's see . . you have (1) paid a wasted filing fee of $120 that is paid to the Rhode Island Family Courts, (2) you have paid a constable's fee of $55 or so; (3) you have created an angry family court judge, (4) you have experienced personal frustration and possible embarrassment, and (5) worse yet you may have to spend the time and money going through the process all over again from the start.

Do you need a Rhode Island Divorce lawyer?  "NEED" is a subjective term.  Ideally we should all have a divorce attorney to protect our interests in a Rhode Island divorce proceeding if we can afford one.  Practically speaking, not everyone has the money to hire an attorney.

Ultimately, you are not required to have an attorney.  You have the right to represent yourself and you can do it if you have to.... and successfully too.  Do I advocate that you do it without ANY professional help?  NO, not unless you are going to take the amount of time that many of us have taken as lawyers to study the law for years, keep up on case law and appear before the family court judges on a regular basis.  

Keep in mind that as Rhode Island lawyers focusing a practice in divorce, you earn the ins and outs of the court system that aren't found in any book, law, order, procedure or in anything other than experience.  That's something that a coach might impart in a coaching session, but it's not something you will get unless you hire the attorney outright or hire a coach to help you based upon what you can afford. 

Are there complex issues in your divorce? If there are, you should know about it by seeking the advice of a divorce lawyer and/or Rhode Island Divorce Coach to identify those issues.  Then you can consider whether the issues are beyond what you feel what you are capable of addressing and go from there. 

When could more complex issues Rhode Island arise?  That's a question for another day.

* * * A Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer / Coach Suggestion * * *

My suggestion . . . get some type of legal advice in the form of a Rhode Island Divorce Coaching Session or an advice session before you decide that you are going to handle your own divorce.  Why?  Well, frankly, sometimes you just can't afford not to be without a lawyer if there is more at stake regarding your rights, your assets, your debts and especially any children you may have as in the case of Virginia and Aaron.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2007 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com| Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com | Rhode Island Family Law Lawyer - RI Consumer Tips

Rhode Island Child Support - Can You Waive it? A Rhode Islander Has a Question for the Rhode Island Divorce Coach.

EMAIL QUESTION TO RI DIVORCE COACH / ATTORNEY CHRISTOPHER PEARSALL: 

I have only one question and need only one answer so I am writing in the hope that you will answer it and not require a full coaching session.  My question is this.  If my daughter stays with me in our divorce, can I waive child support so my wife doesn't pay anything?

ANSWER:  Well, you ask a bit of a loaded question here via an email Sir.  Keep in mind that we as Rhode Island Divorce and Family law lawyers need to make a living too.  I certainly have no desire to be greedy and I can tell you that like many people in Rhode Island I have my share of struggles financially yet I too have a family to care for and bills to pay.  My knowledge of the law and the advice I am able to provide from my knowledge and skill is what pays the bills.  So, please keep in mind that you are essentially asking me to do a little bit of work for you for free without knowing me or even giving me your full name in your email.  However, I will meet you half way since I believe that other people who are going through the Rhode Island family court system can benefit from the general answer to your question.

First, this is a general answer to your question.  This answer is NOT specific to you or your case, nor is this answer legal advice to you.  

Keep in mind that without asking you specific questions about your circumstances in your family, your life, your income, your living conditions, your wife, and your divorce then this answer shouldn't be relied upon by you or anyone else.  

No one should rely upon legal advice in a Rhode Island divorce unless it is given by a licensed and experienced RI family law lawyer who has had the opportunity to listen to you and to question you about your specific situation so that all factors will be taken into consideration when providing you with legal advice. 

Every case is different and that is crucial to remember!  

Alright, let's get to it then.

The general answer to your question is both YES and NO!  

You'll understand better once I explain.

  * * WHY THE ANSWER IS "YES?" * *

I don't know of any law in the Rhode Island General Laws, any Administrative Order included in the Orders of the Rhode Island Family Court, or any case that has been decided by our Rhode Island Supreme Court that strictly prohibits a Rhode Island Family Court Judge from allowing a parent who is awarded placement of a child to "waive" child support for the child.

Therefore, technically THE answer is "YES" because there is nothing that strictly prohibits it.

  * * WHY THE ANSWER IS "NO?" * *

Now let's get to the second part of your answer.  

Rhode Island Family Court and divorces have a practical side to them as well and other laws that affect the decision to this question.

Even though in a divorce the RI Family Court is concerned with helping the parties move forward amicably and equitably, there is an underlying principle that the court holds over and above this.  This principle is that the State of Rhode Island and especially the Rhode Island Family Court has a vested and all-important interest in protecting the best interests of the minor children involved in the system.

Keep in mind that the legal idea of "waiving" something usually means or implies that this will be "permanent."

Even though there is no technical prohibition strictly preventing a family court judge from allowing a placement parent to "waive" child support, the perspective of the family court generally and carried on by most family court judges is that the best interests of a minor child are served when both parents contribute financially to the support of the minor child or children.  It is easy to see how the court could find that the best interests of any minor children are not being looked after if the parent who has the child placed in their home wants to "waive" support for the child.

The Rhode Island Family Court Judges look very cautiously on any parent who does not want to receive child support from the other parent because it is not in the best interests of any child for a parent to voluntarily surrender support that the child is entitled to.  Practically speaking, can you waive child support for a child placed with you?  No, you can't because you are not acting in the best interests of the minor child and chances are better than not that the family court judge will not allow it.  Additionally, it makes you look questionable as the placement parent as to whether you are truly looking out for the best interests of any minor child who is to be placed with you.

The alternative is to ask the court to allow you to "leave child support open."  However, since that diverges from your question, I'll address the concept of leaving child support "open' for another article.

I hope this has been of help to you and that you find my forthright and common sensical approach to Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law to be helpful to understanding what it has taken many of us years to learn through case law, practice and the assistance of judges and fellow colleagues over time.

My best to all of you who go before the Rhode Island Family Court System.  If I might be able to help you either through my NEW, AFFORDABLE and IMPROVED Rhode Island Divorce & Family Law Coaching Program or by representation, please do not hesitate to contact me to set up an affordable Coaching or Advice Session.  You may just be surprised how much I can help you and how much money I can save you in the challenging time you may be facing!  

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2007 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com| Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com | Rhode Island Family Law Lawyer - RI Consumer Tips