Rhode Island Divorce Tips by Attorney Chris Pearsall

A Lawyer who Hates Lawyers? What is this RI Divorce Lawyer Really Saying?

Today, I am a Rhode Island lawyer focusing my practice on divorce and divorce coaching.  Looking back decades ago I remember another lawyer who had been practicing in another state for some 40+ years who said something that perplexed me.

* * * Remembering the Lawyer who Hated Lawyers! * * *

The lawyer was about as true, honorable, and generous a gentleman as I have ever met.  He had all the qualities I envisioned a good lawyer would have.  He truly cared about each of his clients.  He fought for each one within the bounds of the law, within his professional code of ethics, and with a high degree of morality. The lawyer knew that I greatly admired him as both a person and as a lawyer.

One extremely hot summer afternoon this lawyer returned to his office after losing a district court hearing.  He plopped himself down in the chair at the opposite end of the short conference room table I was sitting at in his office law library.  His secretary nervously brought him a lemonade and napkin then quickly skirted out of the room.  There was an endless silence.  

Finally, I spoke, 

Chris:  "I'm considering becoming a lawyer."

The lawyer lifted his head, wiped his brow with a napkin, grabbed a nearby law book and flung it across his law library breaking the law book's spine.

It was one of the first times I had ever seen this man so upset.

I was quiet until the lawyer spoke.

Lawyer:  I HATE LAWYERS!

This time the pause was endless yet I was just too puzzled not to speak.

Chris:  "I don't understand!?!  You ARE a lawyer."

The lawyer was quiet again, so I asked it as a question.

Chris:  "How can you hate lawyers when you ARE one? 

The lawyer waited quite awhile before speaking.

Lawyer:  Chris, if you're anything like me, you'll understand when you get there. 

The conversation ended.

* * * 20 Years Later We Agree * * *

I've been working in the legal field now for more than 20 years since that conversation.  

As a Rhode Island lawyer, I am bound by a Professional Code of Ethical Conduct among other things.  There are things that I shouldn't say or do and there are things that I can't say or do despite the right to Free Speech guaranteed to all of us by the United States Constitution.  The layperson would be amazed. 

* * * A Message for Roger * * *

For a point of reference only, the lawyer's name was Roger.

Hopefully he's still alive and hopefully he is in tune enough with today's "internet" that he reads this article.

First, to this great lawyer.

Roger, I was like you.  I understand!

* * * A Message for Readers * * *

Now, to my readers I offer this.

You may not understand this statement until you meet with me.

If you like lawyers, you probably won't like me.

With that said, I can tell you that as a Rhode Island Lawyer who has focused my practice exclusively in the area of divorce and family law, I cannot make your problems go away.  No lawyer can!  Yet some lawyers may tell you they can to get you as a client.

Lawyers can't make your problems go away because fundamentally they are your problems.  Only you can take responsibility for those challenges in your life.  Only you truly have the power to resolve those challenges by your decisions.

However, I can tell you that I can help you understand and get through your Rhode Island divorce or family law challenges by working with you either as your Coach or as your Representative.

* * *  Your Divorce Coaching Program * * *

Roger's words were invaluable.  Today, they are the powerful force motivating the continued growth of your Family Law Coaching program.  

I call it Your Program because it is designed specifically for you.  It is designed to teach you, train you, advise you, inform you, and save you time and money in the areas of divorce and family law.

As Your Coaching Program continues to evolve, it will continue to work faster for you, become more economical for you, and become more helpful for you.

Whatever you choose to believe, there is one thing you can know with certainty. I am one lawyer trying to make a difference for YOU with a new and innovative way of practice designed by hard work, my belief that you can do more than you believe you can at this moment, and your willingness to be open to something new that works. 

What can Your Coaching Program help you with?  Here is a brief list . . .

Rhode Island Divorces & Legal Separations, Rhode Island Child Support Establishment, Modifications, Collections and Terminations, Rhode Island Child Custody Matters and Child Custody Modifications, Rhode Island Petitions to Enforced Marital Settlement Agreements and Property Settlement Agreements, Preparing Pre-Nuptual Agreements and Ante-Nuptual Agreements in Rhode Island, RI Petitions to Move Out of State with Minor Children, Petitions to Establish Paternity in Rhode Island, Rhode Island Motions to Adjudge In Contempt and Defense of those Contempt Motions, Protection from Abuse Petitions and Defense Against Such Petitions, Rhode Island Motions and Petitions to Establish, Modify or Terminate Visitation, RI Common Law Divorces and their Defense, Rhode Island Legal Rights, Rhode Island Family Court Procedures, 2nd Opinions about your Attorney on Rhode Island Divorce Cases, Pro Se Representation (i.e. Representing Yourself Appropriately in Family Court), and many more . . . 

Look for the Testimonials Section about Your Coaching Program which is coming soon.  Feel Free to Call Me for a low-cost Coaching Session!

Attorney Christopher A. Pearsall - Phone: (401) 632-6976

A Simple or Complex Uncontested RI Divorce for the Rhode Island Divorce Coach!

A Rhode Island man called me on Thursday.  The man wanting to know what price I charged for handling a simple uncontested Rhode Island divorce.  I told him that it is not quite that simple.

    "Why not?", the man asked.

    I explained that I provide quotes on a case by case basis after a one hour hour coaching and case evaluation session.  

    "What?!?", the man stated angrily.

    I calmly explained that I have a one hour coaching session with each prospective client to ask the necessary questions, advise the person of their legal rights and alternatives, coach the person on the approaches that could be taken, and evaluate their case if they should decide to ask me to represent them.

        This Rhode Island gentleman proceeded to argue with me.  "It should be no big deal to give me a price for an uncontested divorce.  They should all be pretty much the same.  You lawyers are all alike!", the man was clearly angry. 

    Apparently the man had called several other Rhode Island lawyers about uncontested divorce prices and they were not willing to provide prices for their services over the telephone and urged him to make an appointment.

    I could certainly understand the man's frustration.  However, I wasn't appreciating the fact that this man was directing his anger at me.   I was willing to tell him about my coaching program since that is a set fee service but the man wasn't interested.

    It was apparent that the man not searching for a "skilled" Rhode Island divorce lawyer.  Instead he was looking for a "cheap" lawyer who would just stand by him at the hearing and protect him.

    As the man continued to talk, he stated that he didn't see what the big deal about all about.  He insisted his case was straight-forward.

    As the man talked, he quickly laid out a few of the circumstances surrounding his marriage.  It went something like this.

Man:   "We've been married six (6) years.  I'm in the military but I'm a Rhode Island resident.  My wife had an affair with some guy and had two kids while I was deployed.  We agree on everything. We just want it over quick.  It's that easy."

        I tried to explain to the man that I get calls from dozens of people every month telling me how easy their case is, that it's uncontested, and that it shouldn't cost anything at all.  I tried to get this fellow to understand that every divorce is not the same and that 9 times out of 10 times the so-called "uncontested divorces" are not as simple as people think.

    The man refused to believe that his case could be any more complicated than an attorney spending an hour or two.

    Ultimately my response about his "clear" uncontested Rhode Island Divorce took on a different form.  It went something like this:

Attorney Pearsall:  "Well, I've been talking to you only for about 3 minutes now and I know of several issues you may not be aware of just from the small amount of information you've provided.  For instance, are you aware that under Rhode Island law there is a presumption that any children born while you are still married to your wife are YOURS!"

     The man was quiet.

Attorney Pearsall:  "Your wife hasn't been trustworthy about your marriage.  Can you imagine what would happen if she were to appear before the Rhode Island Family Court and request that you pay child support for these children?"

Man: "Well, that ain't gonna happen."

Attorney Pearsall:  "Are you sure?  I can tell you that if a Rhode Island Family Court Judge orders you to pay child support for those two kids, then you had better pay it, or you should be prepared to potentially spend some time in the Adult Correctional Institution."  

Man:  "That's ridiculous.  So she screws around and has two kids with some other guy and I have to pay for them?  That would never happen.  I'll just ask my wife who the father is.  She'll have to tell the court I'm not the father and that will be the end of it, right?"

    The man paused and waited for an answer.  As the man waited for answers.  I decided to show him how simple his divorce might not be!

Attorney Pearsall:  "That's the question.  Is that all it takes?  Do you know if you need the birth certificate for these kids as proof?  Or does the father of these kids have to testify?  Your wife hasn't been very honest with you so far.  What if she lies to the court?  Or what if she doesn't say anything at all?  What if she says she doesn't know if you are the father or not?"

"Do you have a written agreement that she's willing to waive alimony permanently?   Or what about your military benefits, do you know if your wife qualifies for benefits or if she's going to waive them?"

    I stopped talking so the Rhode Island military man could respond.

    After I stopped talking for quite a while the man spoke up.

Man:  "Well, what are the answers all these questions?"

Attorney Pearsall:  "That's my point!  You don't know.  You've spent only a few minutes talking with me and I've already identified numerous questions that you want the answers to.  That's why having an experienced Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer coach you or represent you is so important."

    The man clearly got the point.

Man:  "Okay, I get it.  But I don't have much of a budget."\

Attorney Pearsall:  "That's exactly why I created my divorce coaching program.  It costs less and you get the answers to these questions and much more to protect yourself.  It's a good way to help insure that your divorce goes smoothly."

Man:  "I'll consider it and call you back if I decide to use you."

    Suddenly, without any thanks at all the man hung up.

    The point is simple.  Your divorce may look simple to you.  However, you are not a divorce lawyer in Rhode Island.  I could spend several lifetimes trying to master all the Rhode Island divorce issues and still not cover everything.  

    It's better to be wise and to remember that often times things are never as simple as they seem.  A trained legal professional with expertise in the area of divorce and family law will probably spot problems you might never notice.  

    In any divorce situation you want to find and prepare for issues before your divorce hearing.  You do not want to discover the problems after your divorce is done when it may be too late to do anything about it.

    It is important to find as many issues as you can before it is too late to do anything about them.  It doesn't always have to be costly.  Sometimes a good divorce coach is all you need.  At other times, you need a professional by your side every step of the way. 

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2009 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com | Rhode Island Home Buying Tips | Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com | Rhode Island Family Law Lawyer - RI Consumer Tips

The Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer and Family Law Coach serving Warwick, RI: Living Separate Lives, but Not Divorced

Do You Need Divorce Coaching or Legal Representation?  Consider this Example.

On a whimsical impulse Carrie and Jack got married in Las Vegas, Nevada in 1992 while on vacation with friends.  They remained married and living together for seven months in Rhode Island where Carried had her job and family and Jack was stationed in Newport with the military at NUSC.  

The marriage quickly deteriorated after Jack discovered that Carrie was a verbally abusive and sometimes violent alcoholic.  When Jack refused to buy Carrie alcoholic beverages of any kind, Carrie moved out.  Even though all the furnishings and other assets belonged to Jack before the two got married, Jack agreed to give Carrie everything.  Jack felt bad for Carrie and he went so far as to engage professional movers to pack up and move all the furnishings in their apartment to wherever Carried wanted them moved.  The only things Jack did not give to Carrie were the things that were provided to them by the US Military because he had no right to give them away.

Carrie left with 95% of everything and Jack kept only a few minor things that were needed for his survival in the apartment.  Jack went so far as to set up a military allotment to be deposited in an account of Carrie's choosing for half of the military pay he received each pay period.  Carrie's allotment was set up to last for an indefinite period of time.

Both Carrie and Jack were aware that as long as they remained married the military would provide Jack with an additional amount of money each pay period as long as he was classified as "married."  

Carrie and Jack each went their separate ways and verbally agreed to live their own lives under these circumstances.  Jack didn't want to hurt Carrie and realized she had a problem so he did not file for divorce.  Carrie did not seek any form of rehabilitation but she knew that if she filed for divorce she would get less money from Jack, so she never filed either.

Finally, Jack retired from the military in 2000 and the allotment to Carrie ceased pursuant to the military's own administrative guidelines.  Jack then began receiving a military pension for his 20 years of military service.

When the military allotment ceased, Carrie sought legal advice in Rhode Island where she had been living for the past 12 years and made a substantial claim for Jack's pension and other assets he had accumulated while they had been living separately.

Jack was surprised to learn that although the Rhode Island judge could certainly consider the totality of the circumstances surrounding the divorce, Rhode Island law did allow Carrie to claim that at least a portion of Jack's military pension was "marital" because it accrued while the parties were legally married and absent a Rhode Island or Federal Law which instructed the Rhode Island Family Court otherwise, the pension could be considered marital if the court made a finding that all or a portion of the pension was marital and should be equitably split between the parties as the court saw fit after trial.

Jack was not happy about the divorce proceedings.  All this time he thought he had "done the right thing" for Carrie and now she wanted even more and Jack didn't want to give more.  Jack felt he had given enough and he was willing to fight for his military pension as a non-marital asset because he had already given Carrie what amounted to more than her share.  In Jack's eyes he had already given more than he would have been ordered to give by any divorce court.

Perhaps the greatest thing to keep in mind regarding a scenario where you and your spouse separate all your assets and debts and live completely separate but you do not terminate your marriage legally is this. . . YOU ARE STILL MARRIED!

Can you answer these questions?

1.  Can Jack argue that since he and Carrie separated everything at the time they personally terminated their own marital relationship with each other that any asset accumulated after that time is non-marital?

2.  If Carrie runs up credit card debt in order to support herself during the time that she is separated from Jack, could a Rhode Island Family Court Judge find the credit card debt to be marital debt?

3.  If Carrie builds up an IRA plan during the time she is separated from but still married to Jack, does Jack have a reasonable claim to a part of that IRA plan if he didn't contribute to it?

4.  If Carrie has a child during the time she is separated from Jack and there is no name specified as the father of the child on the birth certificate, is it possible that Jack might have to pay child support for that child?

5.  Are there any federal laws which trump state law regarding any of these issues and decide the question for us so that the question(s) become a non-issue?

6.  Do you see the other eight (8) important legal questions/issues that a skilled divorce lawyer might address with you if you were either Jack or Carrie?  

If you do not see the other important legal questions/issues in this scenario, then you either need some professional RI Divorce Coaching or representation by a good Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Consider using the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2009.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  There is no recognition for specialization of attorneys in any area of law.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com | Rhode Island Home Buying Tips | Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com

RI Divorce Attorney Serving East Greenwich, Rhode Island - Answers a Question About Adultery and Abandonment!

Question for Attorney Serving East Greenwich, RI: 

What is the liability of a adulterer spouse abandoning the marital home?  There is one child involved.

RI Divorce Attorney Answer: 

There is no recognized legal action for an adulterous spouse who has abandoned the other spouse and a child. However, there is an expectation by the family court that a child will be supported by both parents. The parent who is still with the child must file a proceeding in the family court, have the other spouse served with the appropriate documents and proceed before the family court to have a child support order entered.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, RI Divorce Lawyer Serving East Greenwich, RI

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Consider using the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2009.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all lawyers in the general practice of law. The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com| GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com | Rhode Island Home Buying Tips | Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com

RI Family Lawyers' Tip: RI Family Law and Grounds for Divorce to Discuss with Your Lawyer!

It's important to know that the grounds listed for a Rhode Island Divorce are substantially greater than those listed on the Rhode Island Bar Association website.  

While the Rhode Island Bar Association website introduces you to the concept of irreconcilable differences and tells you to speak with your RI Family Lawyer about other grounds, It is too easy to shift the burden to RI Family Lawyers and leave readers believing that Rhode Island is merely a "no fault" state with a few additional grounds that you might discuss with your RI Family Lawyer if they come up.

Specifically, the Rhode Island General Laws 15-5-2 provides several other important  grounds for divorce in the State of Rhode Island in addition to "irreconcilable differences" which are as follows:

R.I.G.L. 15-5-2 Additional grounds for divorce.

      Divorces from the bond of marriage shall also be decreed for the following causes:

      (1) Impotency;

      (2) Adultery;

      (3) Extreme cruelty;

      (4) Willful desertion for five (5) years of either of the parties, or for willful desertion for a shorter period of time in the discretion of the court;

      (5) Continued drunkenness;

      (6) The habitual, excessive, and intemperate use of opium, morphine, or chloral;

      (7) Neglect and refusal, for the period of at least one year next before the filing of the petition, on the part of the husband to provide necessaries for the subsistence of his wife, the husband being of sufficient ability; and

      (8) Any other gross misbehavior and wickedness, in either of the parties, repugnant to and in violation of the marriage covenant.

These are all grounds that you should discuss with your RI Family Lawyer regarding your divorce if they are applicable to your case.  Keep in mind that your grounds for divorce are likely to affect your divorce proceeding in one or more ways.  Your RI Family Lawyer should take the time to explain to you any consequences of using a particular grounds for divorce that you may qualify for based upon your particular family circumstances.

Don't be afraid to ask your RI Family Lawyer about these grounds and what they mean to your case.  After all, this is your life!  Don't sit on the sidelines and let a divorce happen to you in RI or anywhere else.  This is your life!  You may have a house!  You may have children!  You may have assets!  You may have a broken heart!  You may be in need of healing.  

This is YOUR LIFE!  This is what you have invested your time and energy in.  It's not the time to sit on the sidelines and let any RI Family Lawyer or any RI Family Judge decide what happens to everything in YOUR LIFE!  

Retain control!  Be an adult!  Settle your case reasonably, no matter what the grounds and design a beautiful future for YOUR TOMORROW!

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, RI Family Lawyer

Rhode Island's Full-Time Family* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Consider using the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2009.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* Rhode Island licenses all lawyers in the general practice of law.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com | Rhode Island Home Buying Tips | Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com