Rhode Island Divorce Tips by Attorney Chris Pearsall

A Lawyer who Hates Lawyers? What is this RI Divorce Lawyer Really Saying?

Today, I am a Rhode Island lawyer focusing my practice on divorce and divorce coaching.  Looking back decades ago I remember another lawyer who had been practicing in another state for some 40+ years who said something that perplexed me.

* * * Remembering the Lawyer who Hated Lawyers! * * *

The lawyer was about as true, honorable, and generous a gentleman as I have ever met.  He had all the qualities I envisioned a good lawyer would have.  He truly cared about each of his clients.  He fought for each one within the bounds of the law, within his professional code of ethics, and with a high degree of morality. The lawyer knew that I greatly admired him as both a person and as a lawyer.

One extremely hot summer afternoon this lawyer returned to his office after losing a district court hearing.  He plopped himself down in the chair at the opposite end of the short conference room table I was sitting at in his office law library.  His secretary nervously brought him a lemonade and napkin then quickly skirted out of the room.  There was an endless silence.  

Finally, I spoke, 

Chris:  "I'm considering becoming a lawyer."

The lawyer lifted his head, wiped his brow with a napkin, grabbed a nearby law book and flung it across his law library breaking the law book's spine.

It was one of the first times I had ever seen this man so upset.

I was quiet until the lawyer spoke.

Lawyer:  I HATE LAWYERS!

This time the pause was endless yet I was just too puzzled not to speak.

Chris:  "I don't understand!?!  You ARE a lawyer."

The lawyer was quiet again, so I asked it as a question.

Chris:  "How can you hate lawyers when you ARE one? 

The lawyer waited quite awhile before speaking.

Lawyer:  Chris, if you're anything like me, you'll understand when you get there. 

The conversation ended.

* * * 20 Years Later We Agree * * *

I've been working in the legal field now for more than 20 years since that conversation.  

As a Rhode Island lawyer, I am bound by a Professional Code of Ethical Conduct among other things.  There are things that I shouldn't say or do and there are things that I can't say or do despite the right to Free Speech guaranteed to all of us by the United States Constitution.  The layperson would be amazed. 

* * * A Message for Roger * * *

For a point of reference only, the lawyer's name was Roger.

Hopefully he's still alive and hopefully he is in tune enough with today's "internet" that he reads this article.

First, to this great lawyer.

Roger, I was like you.  I understand!

* * * A Message for Readers * * *

Now, to my readers I offer this.

You may not understand this statement until you meet with me.

If you like lawyers, you probably won't like me.

With that said, I can tell you that as a Rhode Island Lawyer who has focused my practice exclusively in the area of divorce and family law, I cannot make your problems go away.  No lawyer can!  Yet some lawyers may tell you they can to get you as a client.

Lawyers can't make your problems go away because fundamentally they are your problems.  Only you can take responsibility for those challenges in your life.  Only you truly have the power to resolve those challenges by your decisions.

However, I can tell you that I can help you understand and get through your Rhode Island divorce or family law challenges by working with you either as your Coach or as your Representative.

* * *  Your Divorce Coaching Program * * *

Roger's words were invaluable.  Today, they are the powerful force motivating the continued growth of your Family Law Coaching program.  

I call it Your Program because it is designed specifically for you.  It is designed to teach you, train you, advise you, inform you, and save you time and money in the areas of divorce and family law.

As Your Coaching Program continues to evolve, it will continue to work faster for you, become more economical for you, and become more helpful for you.

Whatever you choose to believe, there is one thing you can know with certainty. I am one lawyer trying to make a difference for YOU with a new and innovative way of practice designed by hard work, my belief that you can do more than you believe you can at this moment, and your willingness to be open to something new that works. 

What can Your Coaching Program help you with?  Here is a brief list . . .

Rhode Island Divorces & Legal Separations, Rhode Island Child Support Establishment, Modifications, Collections and Terminations, Rhode Island Child Custody Matters and Child Custody Modifications, Rhode Island Petitions to Enforced Marital Settlement Agreements and Property Settlement Agreements, Preparing Pre-Nuptual Agreements and Ante-Nuptual Agreements in Rhode Island, RI Petitions to Move Out of State with Minor Children, Petitions to Establish Paternity in Rhode Island, Rhode Island Motions to Adjudge In Contempt and Defense of those Contempt Motions, Protection from Abuse Petitions and Defense Against Such Petitions, Rhode Island Motions and Petitions to Establish, Modify or Terminate Visitation, RI Common Law Divorces and their Defense, Rhode Island Legal Rights, Rhode Island Family Court Procedures, 2nd Opinions about your Attorney on Rhode Island Divorce Cases, Pro Se Representation (i.e. Representing Yourself Appropriately in Family Court), and many more . . . 

Look for the Testimonials Section about Your Coaching Program which is coming soon.  Feel Free to Call Me for a low-cost Coaching Session!

Attorney Christopher A. Pearsall - Phone: (401) 632-6976

Rhode Island Divorce Clients will be happier if they are Realistic and Practical about their Divorce!

Are you a prospective Rhode Island Divorce client?  This may be of interest to you if you are even contemplating filing for divorce in Rhode Island but you don't know what to expect or whether your spouse will fly off the handle.

Here's a recipe for spouses in a divorce you might want to consider.  I've kept this to the most basic of fundamental ingredients that I've seen make a Rhode Island Divorce Settlement work.  So if you have questions or comments, by all means, post them and get them answered so this recipe can be explained further if it needs to be.

* * * RHODE ISLAND DIVORCE SETTLEMENT * * * 

* * * MY INTELLECTUAL RECIPE FOR SETTLEMENT * * *

1.  It Takes Two!

You and your spouse must both follow this recipe in order for it to work.  The sooner you do, the sooner you are likely to reach a settlement to your divorce case.

2.  Discard your emotions.  

Got that!  There is no emotion in the Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer's recipe for settlement.  You may find this to be the most challenging part of this recipe because you may feel tons of emotion over the news that your spouse wants a divorce or even if you've both decided mutually that a divorce is the best thing for each of you.  However, if you allow emotion to become part of the recipe for your divorce, you actually prevent settlement.  Remember it this way.  Emotion prevents Motion!
 

3.  Discard your thoughts of "entitlement."  

This isn't easy either, whether you are getting divorced or not.  Life itself isn't really about entitlement. Entitlement is something that we as people create in our minds and it changes as our thoughts change.  So, do yourself a favor and simply take personal responsibility for your own life.  If you were adult enough to get married, you could make any other decision that you needed to in order to survive, protect yourself, take care of yourself, and control your own life.  

The best example of what happens to resolving Sylvester Stallone in one of the Rocky movies from the 1980's said it best when his brother-in-law (Paulie) said to him "I'm entitled."   Rocky responded by saying something akin to "Nobody's entitled!  We do because we want to do."  I've tried to include that little clip here because it is a very good analogy as to the fights that occur when emotions and entitlement happen in a relationship.  Unfortunately, in a divorce things don't end as quickly.  If you notice, Rocky and Paulie continued their relationship and Paulie still had the idea that he was entitled to all that Rocky had built up.  Paulie never took personal responsibility for his own decisions and life choices that led him to where he was in his life.    (My Apologies - Excerpt being reformatted..)

4.  Fill your divorce settlement mixing bowl with a huge bag of heavy duty reality.

The heavy duty reality of any divorce is that when you and your spouse settle your case amicably, you do so on your terms for your lives.  

You are in control!  

Realistically, if you both hire lawyers or end up reaching Case Management Conferences in the Rhode Island Family Court, then one of you either is not following the recipe or you have a lawyer who is making waves (possibly where he or she should not be),  costing you money, prolonging your divorce, and preventing you from moving forward in your life.  While technically you still have control it is all too easy for your attorney to assume control without you knowing it or realizing it because he or she will do what they believe to be right in your best interests legally.

5.  Fill your RI divorce settlement mixing bowl with a heaping portion of heavy duty practicality. 

This is one of the most important ingredients because without this you just won't see the big picture.  Be practical in this instance more than you have ever been in your life.  What will it cost you if you don't follow this recipe?

If you hire a lawyer to go to court for you, then you should plan on paying for that lawyer yourself because in most cases that's what happens regardless of where you get the funds from. So, practically speaking you can kiss several thousand dollars goodbye and that's just to start.

Practically speaking, when you hire a lawyer you lose some measure of control of your case, your settlement, and your life.  So practically speaking you can say goodbye to some or all of the control you have over this tremendously important part of your life.

If you don't want to follow this divorce settlement recipe, that's your decision. However, it's almost inevitable that you are going to lose or waste a chunk of time in your life consumed by your divorce which prevents you from being happy and moving on in a healthy manner.  So go ahead and say goodbye to a good chunk of time in your life because you've wasted it on a divorce, emotional chaos, stress, depression, anxiety, and perhaps even creating permanent damage to your health.

These are just a few things that the lack of practicality will cause you to miss.  So if you don't want to follow the recipe, you and your spouse can (and probably will) lose money, time, happiness, control and worst of all your mental, physical and emotional health.  

Yet look at all the wonderful things you will gain such as debt, anxiety, lost time from work, school or your children, poor health, unhappiness, resentment, attorney's fees and litigation costs, possible alienation from your children and much more.

6.  Then mix in the best interests of the children followed by the assets, the debts, and lastly the living needs of each party while sprinkling in a generous amounts of common sense and reasonableness.

7.  Once it is thoroughly mixed, divide the mixture and round them out in sizes created by agreement and cooked until they are golden brown.  Hand the tray to the judge for review and approval.

If this sounds like an absurd way to look at a divorce settlement to you, then I certainly respect your opinion.  If you would rather that I called it a "formula" and used chemistry or something more in tune with either the legal profession or something more or a scholarly nature, then you may certainly substitute your own analogy for the "recipe" that I have offered here.  

Ultimately, as a Rhode Island lawyer focusing my practice in Rhode Island divorce and family law I've seen this recipe work time and time again.  In fact, I've learned more about this "recipe" or "formula" from the people who have come to me for my low-cost divorce coaching than from any experience I've ever had in the practice of law.

Do you want some very good divorce coaching?  

Here it is.  You may want to show this article to your spouse and see if the two of you can follow this recipe and reach an agreement, calmly, quietly and respectfully.  If you need some help, talk it out and decide which one of you wants to call me for a little coaching on the subject. 

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2007 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com| Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com | Rhode Island Family Law Lawyer - RI Consumer Tips

A Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers Tip on Your Rights to a Spouse's Accident Claim!

A recent call from one of my Rhode Island clients sparked an interesting issue regarding the client's divorce.  It is not a question that arises as frequently as many others but it does raise its head on occasion because in today's litigious society there are frequent personal injury claims that arise.

ISSUE:

Assume that a wife has a personal injury claim that occurred during the marriage but may be worth a substantial amount of money.  The husband and wife get divorced but neither party discloses the claim as a potential asset that may be part of the marital estate because it was merely a claim at the time they settle their divorce.  Before the Final Judgment of Divorce is entered, a Rhode Island Insurance carrier pays the wife $120,000 to settle the wife's claim.  The husband has his lawyer file a motion in Rhode Island Family Court seeking half of the $120,000. 

What, if anything, might the Husband be entitled to since his Rhode Island Divorce is not yet final?

GENERAL ANSWER:

The answer revolves substantially around the way in which the Rhode Island personal injury claim was settled.  Monies received for medical bills are typically subject to a lien by the medical insurance carrier that must be repaid to that carrier.  Monies paid on a claim that are paid for pain and suffering are intended to make the individual who was injured "whole" and therefore the payment is distinct compensation to something wholly individual to that person and not part of the marital estate.

The only portion of a personal injury settlement that is normally considered part of the marital estate and therefore is subject to distribution by the Rhode Island Family Court judge is that part of a settlement that compensates the wife for her lost wages.  This is because the wages of either party are considered "marital" regardless of which party earns them by the very nature of the marriage covenant.

Thus, the only portion the husband might receive is a possible award of any lost wages the wife was compensated for by the settlement.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall
Attorney-at-Law
70 Dogwood Drive, Suite 304
West Warwick, RI 02893

Call (401) 632-6976 Now for your low-cost consultation.
from
Rhode Island's Most Affordable Divorce* Lawyer & Family Law* Attorney

Copyright 2008. Christopher A. Pearsall
A New Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer for a New Millenium!

*The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law. Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | Chris Pearsall | Legal Scholar | Pearsall Law Associates | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers