Rhode Island Divorce Tips by Attorney Chris Pearsall

A Lawyer who Hates Lawyers? What is this RI Divorce Lawyer Really Saying?

Today, I am a Rhode Island lawyer focusing my practice on divorce and divorce coaching.  Looking back decades ago I remember another lawyer who had been practicing in another state for some 40+ years who said something that perplexed me.

* * * Remembering the Lawyer who Hated Lawyers! * * *

The lawyer was about as true, honorable, and generous a gentleman as I have ever met.  He had all the qualities I envisioned a good lawyer would have.  He truly cared about each of his clients.  He fought for each one within the bounds of the law, within his professional code of ethics, and with a high degree of morality. The lawyer knew that I greatly admired him as both a person and as a lawyer.

One extremely hot summer afternoon this lawyer returned to his office after losing a district court hearing.  He plopped himself down in the chair at the opposite end of the short conference room table I was sitting at in his office law library.  His secretary nervously brought him a lemonade and napkin then quickly skirted out of the room.  There was an endless silence.  

Finally, I spoke, 

Chris:  "I'm considering becoming a lawyer."

The lawyer lifted his head, wiped his brow with a napkin, grabbed a nearby law book and flung it across his law library breaking the law book's spine.

It was one of the first times I had ever seen this man so upset.

I was quiet until the lawyer spoke.

Lawyer:  I HATE LAWYERS!

This time the pause was endless yet I was just too puzzled not to speak.

Chris:  "I don't understand!?!  You ARE a lawyer."

The lawyer was quiet again, so I asked it as a question.

Chris:  "How can you hate lawyers when you ARE one? 

The lawyer waited quite awhile before speaking.

Lawyer:  Chris, if you're anything like me, you'll understand when you get there. 

The conversation ended.

* * * 20 Years Later We Agree * * *

I've been working in the legal field now for more than 20 years since that conversation.  

As a Rhode Island lawyer, I am bound by a Professional Code of Ethical Conduct among other things.  There are things that I shouldn't say or do and there are things that I can't say or do despite the right to Free Speech guaranteed to all of us by the United States Constitution.  The layperson would be amazed. 

* * * A Message for Roger * * *

For a point of reference only, the lawyer's name was Roger.

Hopefully he's still alive and hopefully he is in tune enough with today's "internet" that he reads this article.

First, to this great lawyer.

Roger, I was like you.  I understand!

* * * A Message for Readers * * *

Now, to my readers I offer this.

You may not understand this statement until you meet with me.

If you like lawyers, you probably won't like me.

With that said, I can tell you that as a Rhode Island Lawyer who has focused my practice exclusively in the area of divorce and family law, I cannot make your problems go away.  No lawyer can!  Yet some lawyers may tell you they can to get you as a client.

Lawyers can't make your problems go away because fundamentally they are your problems.  Only you can take responsibility for those challenges in your life.  Only you truly have the power to resolve those challenges by your decisions.

However, I can tell you that I can help you understand and get through your Rhode Island divorce or family law challenges by working with you either as your Coach or as your Representative.

* * *  Your Divorce Coaching Program * * *

Roger's words were invaluable.  Today, they are the powerful force motivating the continued growth of your Family Law Coaching program.  

I call it Your Program because it is designed specifically for you.  It is designed to teach you, train you, advise you, inform you, and save you time and money in the areas of divorce and family law.

As Your Coaching Program continues to evolve, it will continue to work faster for you, become more economical for you, and become more helpful for you.

Whatever you choose to believe, there is one thing you can know with certainty. I am one lawyer trying to make a difference for YOU with a new and innovative way of practice designed by hard work, my belief that you can do more than you believe you can at this moment, and your willingness to be open to something new that works. 

What can Your Coaching Program help you with?  Here is a brief list . . .

Rhode Island Divorces & Legal Separations, Rhode Island Child Support Establishment, Modifications, Collections and Terminations, Rhode Island Child Custody Matters and Child Custody Modifications, Rhode Island Petitions to Enforced Marital Settlement Agreements and Property Settlement Agreements, Preparing Pre-Nuptual Agreements and Ante-Nuptual Agreements in Rhode Island, RI Petitions to Move Out of State with Minor Children, Petitions to Establish Paternity in Rhode Island, Rhode Island Motions to Adjudge In Contempt and Defense of those Contempt Motions, Protection from Abuse Petitions and Defense Against Such Petitions, Rhode Island Motions and Petitions to Establish, Modify or Terminate Visitation, RI Common Law Divorces and their Defense, Rhode Island Legal Rights, Rhode Island Family Court Procedures, 2nd Opinions about your Attorney on Rhode Island Divorce Cases, Pro Se Representation (i.e. Representing Yourself Appropriately in Family Court), and many more . . . 

Look for the Testimonials Section about Your Coaching Program which is coming soon.  Feel Free to Call Me for a low-cost Coaching Session!

Attorney Christopher A. Pearsall - Phone: (401) 632-6976

Rhode Island Divorce Clients will be happier if they are Realistic and Practical about their Divorce!

Are you a prospective Rhode Island Divorce client?  This may be of interest to you if you are even contemplating filing for divorce in Rhode Island but you don't know what to expect or whether your spouse will fly off the handle.

Here's a recipe for spouses in a divorce you might want to consider.  I've kept this to the most basic of fundamental ingredients that I've seen make a Rhode Island Divorce Settlement work.  So if you have questions or comments, by all means, post them and get them answered so this recipe can be explained further if it needs to be.

* * * RHODE ISLAND DIVORCE SETTLEMENT * * * 

* * * MY INTELLECTUAL RECIPE FOR SETTLEMENT * * *

1.  It Takes Two!

You and your spouse must both follow this recipe in order for it to work.  The sooner you do, the sooner you are likely to reach a settlement to your divorce case.

2.  Discard your emotions.  

Got that!  There is no emotion in the Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer's recipe for settlement.  You may find this to be the most challenging part of this recipe because you may feel tons of emotion over the news that your spouse wants a divorce or even if you've both decided mutually that a divorce is the best thing for each of you.  However, if you allow emotion to become part of the recipe for your divorce, you actually prevent settlement.  Remember it this way.  Emotion prevents Motion!
 

3.  Discard your thoughts of "entitlement."  

This isn't easy either, whether you are getting divorced or not.  Life itself isn't really about entitlement. Entitlement is something that we as people create in our minds and it changes as our thoughts change.  So, do yourself a favor and simply take personal responsibility for your own life.  If you were adult enough to get married, you could make any other decision that you needed to in order to survive, protect yourself, take care of yourself, and control your own life.  

The best example of what happens to resolving Sylvester Stallone in one of the Rocky movies from the 1980's said it best when his brother-in-law (Paulie) said to him "I'm entitled."   Rocky responded by saying something akin to "Nobody's entitled!  We do because we want to do."  I've tried to include that little clip here because it is a very good analogy as to the fights that occur when emotions and entitlement happen in a relationship.  Unfortunately, in a divorce things don't end as quickly.  If you notice, Rocky and Paulie continued their relationship and Paulie still had the idea that he was entitled to all that Rocky had built up.  Paulie never took personal responsibility for his own decisions and life choices that led him to where he was in his life.    (My Apologies - Excerpt being reformatted..)

4.  Fill your divorce settlement mixing bowl with a huge bag of heavy duty reality.

The heavy duty reality of any divorce is that when you and your spouse settle your case amicably, you do so on your terms for your lives.  

You are in control!  

Realistically, if you both hire lawyers or end up reaching Case Management Conferences in the Rhode Island Family Court, then one of you either is not following the recipe or you have a lawyer who is making waves (possibly where he or she should not be),  costing you money, prolonging your divorce, and preventing you from moving forward in your life.  While technically you still have control it is all too easy for your attorney to assume control without you knowing it or realizing it because he or she will do what they believe to be right in your best interests legally.

5.  Fill your RI divorce settlement mixing bowl with a heaping portion of heavy duty practicality. 

This is one of the most important ingredients because without this you just won't see the big picture.  Be practical in this instance more than you have ever been in your life.  What will it cost you if you don't follow this recipe?

If you hire a lawyer to go to court for you, then you should plan on paying for that lawyer yourself because in most cases that's what happens regardless of where you get the funds from. So, practically speaking you can kiss several thousand dollars goodbye and that's just to start.

Practically speaking, when you hire a lawyer you lose some measure of control of your case, your settlement, and your life.  So practically speaking you can say goodbye to some or all of the control you have over this tremendously important part of your life.

If you don't want to follow this divorce settlement recipe, that's your decision. However, it's almost inevitable that you are going to lose or waste a chunk of time in your life consumed by your divorce which prevents you from being happy and moving on in a healthy manner.  So go ahead and say goodbye to a good chunk of time in your life because you've wasted it on a divorce, emotional chaos, stress, depression, anxiety, and perhaps even creating permanent damage to your health.

These are just a few things that the lack of practicality will cause you to miss.  So if you don't want to follow the recipe, you and your spouse can (and probably will) lose money, time, happiness, control and worst of all your mental, physical and emotional health.  

Yet look at all the wonderful things you will gain such as debt, anxiety, lost time from work, school or your children, poor health, unhappiness, resentment, attorney's fees and litigation costs, possible alienation from your children and much more.

6.  Then mix in the best interests of the children followed by the assets, the debts, and lastly the living needs of each party while sprinkling in a generous amounts of common sense and reasonableness.

7.  Once it is thoroughly mixed, divide the mixture and round them out in sizes created by agreement and cooked until they are golden brown.  Hand the tray to the judge for review and approval.

If this sounds like an absurd way to look at a divorce settlement to you, then I certainly respect your opinion.  If you would rather that I called it a "formula" and used chemistry or something more in tune with either the legal profession or something more or a scholarly nature, then you may certainly substitute your own analogy for the "recipe" that I have offered here.  

Ultimately, as a Rhode Island lawyer focusing my practice in Rhode Island divorce and family law I've seen this recipe work time and time again.  In fact, I've learned more about this "recipe" or "formula" from the people who have come to me for my low-cost divorce coaching than from any experience I've ever had in the practice of law.

Do you want some very good divorce coaching?  

Here it is.  You may want to show this article to your spouse and see if the two of you can follow this recipe and reach an agreement, calmly, quietly and respectfully.  If you need some help, talk it out and decide which one of you wants to call me for a little coaching on the subject. 

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2007 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com| Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com | Rhode Island Family Law Lawyer - RI Consumer Tips

Rhode Island Child Support - Can You Waive it? A Rhode Islander Has a Question for the Rhode Island Divorce Coach.

EMAIL QUESTION TO RI DIVORCE COACH / ATTORNEY CHRISTOPHER PEARSALL: 

I have only one question and need only one answer so I am writing in the hope that you will answer it and not require a full coaching session.  My question is this.  If my daughter stays with me in our divorce, can I waive child support so my wife doesn't pay anything?

ANSWER:  Well, you ask a bit of a loaded question here via an email Sir.  Keep in mind that we as Rhode Island Divorce and Family law lawyers need to make a living too.  I certainly have no desire to be greedy and I can tell you that like many people in Rhode Island I have my share of struggles financially yet I too have a family to care for and bills to pay.  My knowledge of the law and the advice I am able to provide from my knowledge and skill is what pays the bills.  So, please keep in mind that you are essentially asking me to do a little bit of work for you for free without knowing me or even giving me your full name in your email.  However, I will meet you half way since I believe that other people who are going through the Rhode Island family court system can benefit from the general answer to your question.

First, this is a general answer to your question.  This answer is NOT specific to you or your case, nor is this answer legal advice to you.  

Keep in mind that without asking you specific questions about your circumstances in your family, your life, your income, your living conditions, your wife, and your divorce then this answer shouldn't be relied upon by you or anyone else.  

No one should rely upon legal advice in a Rhode Island divorce unless it is given by a licensed and experienced RI family law lawyer who has had the opportunity to listen to you and to question you about your specific situation so that all factors will be taken into consideration when providing you with legal advice. 

Every case is different and that is crucial to remember!  

Alright, let's get to it then.

The general answer to your question is both YES and NO!  

You'll understand better once I explain.

  * * WHY THE ANSWER IS "YES?" * *

I don't know of any law in the Rhode Island General Laws, any Administrative Order included in the Orders of the Rhode Island Family Court, or any case that has been decided by our Rhode Island Supreme Court that strictly prohibits a Rhode Island Family Court Judge from allowing a parent who is awarded placement of a child to "waive" child support for the child.

Therefore, technically THE answer is "YES" because there is nothing that strictly prohibits it.

  * * WHY THE ANSWER IS "NO?" * *

Now let's get to the second part of your answer.  

Rhode Island Family Court and divorces have a practical side to them as well and other laws that affect the decision to this question.

Even though in a divorce the RI Family Court is concerned with helping the parties move forward amicably and equitably, there is an underlying principle that the court holds over and above this.  This principle is that the State of Rhode Island and especially the Rhode Island Family Court has a vested and all-important interest in protecting the best interests of the minor children involved in the system.

Keep in mind that the legal idea of "waiving" something usually means or implies that this will be "permanent."

Even though there is no technical prohibition strictly preventing a family court judge from allowing a placement parent to "waive" child support, the perspective of the family court generally and carried on by most family court judges is that the best interests of a minor child are served when both parents contribute financially to the support of the minor child or children.  It is easy to see how the court could find that the best interests of any minor children are not being looked after if the parent who has the child placed in their home wants to "waive" support for the child.

The Rhode Island Family Court Judges look very cautiously on any parent who does not want to receive child support from the other parent because it is not in the best interests of any child for a parent to voluntarily surrender support that the child is entitled to.  Practically speaking, can you waive child support for a child placed with you?  No, you can't because you are not acting in the best interests of the minor child and chances are better than not that the family court judge will not allow it.  Additionally, it makes you look questionable as the placement parent as to whether you are truly looking out for the best interests of any minor child who is to be placed with you.

The alternative is to ask the court to allow you to "leave child support open."  However, since that diverges from your question, I'll address the concept of leaving child support "open' for another article.

I hope this has been of help to you and that you find my forthright and common sensical approach to Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law to be helpful to understanding what it has taken many of us years to learn through case law, practice and the assistance of judges and fellow colleagues over time.

My best to all of you who go before the Rhode Island Family Court System.  If I might be able to help you either through my NEW, AFFORDABLE and IMPROVED Rhode Island Divorce & Family Law Coaching Program or by representation, please do not hesitate to contact me to set up an affordable Coaching or Advice Session.  You may just be surprised how much I can help you and how much money I can save you in the challenging time you may be facing!  

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2007 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com| Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com | Rhode Island Family Law Lawyer - RI Consumer Tips

A Simple or Complex Uncontested RI Divorce for the Rhode Island Divorce Coach!

A Rhode Island man called me on Thursday.  The man wanting to know what price I charged for handling a simple uncontested Rhode Island divorce.  I told him that it is not quite that simple.

    "Why not?", the man asked.

    I explained that I provide quotes on a case by case basis after a one hour hour coaching and case evaluation session.  

    "What?!?", the man stated angrily.

    I calmly explained that I have a one hour coaching session with each prospective client to ask the necessary questions, advise the person of their legal rights and alternatives, coach the person on the approaches that could be taken, and evaluate their case if they should decide to ask me to represent them.

        This Rhode Island gentleman proceeded to argue with me.  "It should be no big deal to give me a price for an uncontested divorce.  They should all be pretty much the same.  You lawyers are all alike!", the man was clearly angry. 

    Apparently the man had called several other Rhode Island lawyers about uncontested divorce prices and they were not willing to provide prices for their services over the telephone and urged him to make an appointment.

    I could certainly understand the man's frustration.  However, I wasn't appreciating the fact that this man was directing his anger at me.   I was willing to tell him about my coaching program since that is a set fee service but the man wasn't interested.

    It was apparent that the man not searching for a "skilled" Rhode Island divorce lawyer.  Instead he was looking for a "cheap" lawyer who would just stand by him at the hearing and protect him.

    As the man continued to talk, he stated that he didn't see what the big deal about all about.  He insisted his case was straight-forward.

    As the man talked, he quickly laid out a few of the circumstances surrounding his marriage.  It went something like this.

Man:   "We've been married six (6) years.  I'm in the military but I'm a Rhode Island resident.  My wife had an affair with some guy and had two kids while I was deployed.  We agree on everything. We just want it over quick.  It's that easy."

        I tried to explain to the man that I get calls from dozens of people every month telling me how easy their case is, that it's uncontested, and that it shouldn't cost anything at all.  I tried to get this fellow to understand that every divorce is not the same and that 9 times out of 10 times the so-called "uncontested divorces" are not as simple as people think.

    The man refused to believe that his case could be any more complicated than an attorney spending an hour or two.

    Ultimately my response about his "clear" uncontested Rhode Island Divorce took on a different form.  It went something like this:

Attorney Pearsall:  "Well, I've been talking to you only for about 3 minutes now and I know of several issues you may not be aware of just from the small amount of information you've provided.  For instance, are you aware that under Rhode Island law there is a presumption that any children born while you are still married to your wife are YOURS!"

     The man was quiet.

Attorney Pearsall:  "Your wife hasn't been trustworthy about your marriage.  Can you imagine what would happen if she were to appear before the Rhode Island Family Court and request that you pay child support for these children?"

Man: "Well, that ain't gonna happen."

Attorney Pearsall:  "Are you sure?  I can tell you that if a Rhode Island Family Court Judge orders you to pay child support for those two kids, then you had better pay it, or you should be prepared to potentially spend some time in the Adult Correctional Institution."  

Man:  "That's ridiculous.  So she screws around and has two kids with some other guy and I have to pay for them?  That would never happen.  I'll just ask my wife who the father is.  She'll have to tell the court I'm not the father and that will be the end of it, right?"

    The man paused and waited for an answer.  As the man waited for answers.  I decided to show him how simple his divorce might not be!

Attorney Pearsall:  "That's the question.  Is that all it takes?  Do you know if you need the birth certificate for these kids as proof?  Or does the father of these kids have to testify?  Your wife hasn't been very honest with you so far.  What if she lies to the court?  Or what if she doesn't say anything at all?  What if she says she doesn't know if you are the father or not?"

"Do you have a written agreement that she's willing to waive alimony permanently?   Or what about your military benefits, do you know if your wife qualifies for benefits or if she's going to waive them?"

    I stopped talking so the Rhode Island military man could respond.

    After I stopped talking for quite a while the man spoke up.

Man:  "Well, what are the answers all these questions?"

Attorney Pearsall:  "That's my point!  You don't know.  You've spent only a few minutes talking with me and I've already identified numerous questions that you want the answers to.  That's why having an experienced Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer coach you or represent you is so important."

    The man clearly got the point.

Man:  "Okay, I get it.  But I don't have much of a budget."\

Attorney Pearsall:  "That's exactly why I created my divorce coaching program.  It costs less and you get the answers to these questions and much more to protect yourself.  It's a good way to help insure that your divorce goes smoothly."

Man:  "I'll consider it and call you back if I decide to use you."

    Suddenly, without any thanks at all the man hung up.

    The point is simple.  Your divorce may look simple to you.  However, you are not a divorce lawyer in Rhode Island.  I could spend several lifetimes trying to master all the Rhode Island divorce issues and still not cover everything.  

    It's better to be wise and to remember that often times things are never as simple as they seem.  A trained legal professional with expertise in the area of divorce and family law will probably spot problems you might never notice.  

    In any divorce situation you want to find and prepare for issues before your divorce hearing.  You do not want to discover the problems after your divorce is done when it may be too late to do anything about it.

    It is important to find as many issues as you can before it is too late to do anything about them.  It doesn't always have to be costly.  Sometimes a good divorce coach is all you need.  At other times, you need a professional by your side every step of the way. 

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2009 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com | Rhode Island Home Buying Tips | Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com | Rhode Island Family Law Lawyer - RI Consumer Tips

The Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer and Family Law Coach serving Warwick, RI: Living Separate Lives, but Not Divorced

Do You Need Divorce Coaching or Legal Representation?  Consider this Example.

On a whimsical impulse Carrie and Jack got married in Las Vegas, Nevada in 1992 while on vacation with friends.  They remained married and living together for seven months in Rhode Island where Carried had her job and family and Jack was stationed in Newport with the military at NUSC.  

The marriage quickly deteriorated after Jack discovered that Carrie was a verbally abusive and sometimes violent alcoholic.  When Jack refused to buy Carrie alcoholic beverages of any kind, Carrie moved out.  Even though all the furnishings and other assets belonged to Jack before the two got married, Jack agreed to give Carrie everything.  Jack felt bad for Carrie and he went so far as to engage professional movers to pack up and move all the furnishings in their apartment to wherever Carried wanted them moved.  The only things Jack did not give to Carrie were the things that were provided to them by the US Military because he had no right to give them away.

Carrie left with 95% of everything and Jack kept only a few minor things that were needed for his survival in the apartment.  Jack went so far as to set up a military allotment to be deposited in an account of Carrie's choosing for half of the military pay he received each pay period.  Carrie's allotment was set up to last for an indefinite period of time.

Both Carrie and Jack were aware that as long as they remained married the military would provide Jack with an additional amount of money each pay period as long as he was classified as "married."  

Carrie and Jack each went their separate ways and verbally agreed to live their own lives under these circumstances.  Jack didn't want to hurt Carrie and realized she had a problem so he did not file for divorce.  Carrie did not seek any form of rehabilitation but she knew that if she filed for divorce she would get less money from Jack, so she never filed either.

Finally, Jack retired from the military in 2000 and the allotment to Carrie ceased pursuant to the military's own administrative guidelines.  Jack then began receiving a military pension for his 20 years of military service.

When the military allotment ceased, Carrie sought legal advice in Rhode Island where she had been living for the past 12 years and made a substantial claim for Jack's pension and other assets he had accumulated while they had been living separately.

Jack was surprised to learn that although the Rhode Island judge could certainly consider the totality of the circumstances surrounding the divorce, Rhode Island law did allow Carrie to claim that at least a portion of Jack's military pension was "marital" because it accrued while the parties were legally married and absent a Rhode Island or Federal Law which instructed the Rhode Island Family Court otherwise, the pension could be considered marital if the court made a finding that all or a portion of the pension was marital and should be equitably split between the parties as the court saw fit after trial.

Jack was not happy about the divorce proceedings.  All this time he thought he had "done the right thing" for Carrie and now she wanted even more and Jack didn't want to give more.  Jack felt he had given enough and he was willing to fight for his military pension as a non-marital asset because he had already given Carrie what amounted to more than her share.  In Jack's eyes he had already given more than he would have been ordered to give by any divorce court.

Perhaps the greatest thing to keep in mind regarding a scenario where you and your spouse separate all your assets and debts and live completely separate but you do not terminate your marriage legally is this. . . YOU ARE STILL MARRIED!

Can you answer these questions?

1.  Can Jack argue that since he and Carrie separated everything at the time they personally terminated their own marital relationship with each other that any asset accumulated after that time is non-marital?

2.  If Carrie runs up credit card debt in order to support herself during the time that she is separated from Jack, could a Rhode Island Family Court Judge find the credit card debt to be marital debt?

3.  If Carrie builds up an IRA plan during the time she is separated from but still married to Jack, does Jack have a reasonable claim to a part of that IRA plan if he didn't contribute to it?

4.  If Carrie has a child during the time she is separated from Jack and there is no name specified as the father of the child on the birth certificate, is it possible that Jack might have to pay child support for that child?

5.  Are there any federal laws which trump state law regarding any of these issues and decide the question for us so that the question(s) become a non-issue?

6.  Do you see the other eight (8) important legal questions/issues that a skilled divorce lawyer might address with you if you were either Jack or Carrie?  

If you do not see the other important legal questions/issues in this scenario, then you either need some professional RI Divorce Coaching or representation by a good Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Consider using the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2009.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  There is no recognition for specialization of attorneys in any area of law.

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