Rhode Island Divorce Tips by Attorney Chris Pearsall

A Lawyer who Hates Lawyers? What is this RI Divorce Lawyer Really Saying?

Today, I am a Rhode Island lawyer focusing my practice on divorce and divorce coaching.  Looking back decades ago I remember another lawyer who had been practicing in another state for some 40+ years who said something that perplexed me.

* * * Remembering the Lawyer who Hated Lawyers! * * *

The lawyer was about as true, honorable, and generous a gentleman as I have ever met.  He had all the qualities I envisioned a good lawyer would have.  He truly cared about each of his clients.  He fought for each one within the bounds of the law, within his professional code of ethics, and with a high degree of morality. The lawyer knew that I greatly admired him as both a person and as a lawyer.

One extremely hot summer afternoon this lawyer returned to his office after losing a district court hearing.  He plopped himself down in the chair at the opposite end of the short conference room table I was sitting at in his office law library.  His secretary nervously brought him a lemonade and napkin then quickly skirted out of the room.  There was an endless silence.  

Finally, I spoke, 

Chris:  "I'm considering becoming a lawyer."

The lawyer lifted his head, wiped his brow with a napkin, grabbed a nearby law book and flung it across his law library breaking the law book's spine.

It was one of the first times I had ever seen this man so upset.

I was quiet until the lawyer spoke.

Lawyer:  I HATE LAWYERS!

This time the pause was endless yet I was just too puzzled not to speak.

Chris:  "I don't understand!?!  You ARE a lawyer."

The lawyer was quiet again, so I asked it as a question.

Chris:  "How can you hate lawyers when you ARE one? 

The lawyer waited quite awhile before speaking.

Lawyer:  Chris, if you're anything like me, you'll understand when you get there. 

The conversation ended.

* * * 20 Years Later We Agree * * *

I've been working in the legal field now for more than 20 years since that conversation.  

As a Rhode Island lawyer, I am bound by a Professional Code of Ethical Conduct among other things.  There are things that I shouldn't say or do and there are things that I can't say or do despite the right to Free Speech guaranteed to all of us by the United States Constitution.  The layperson would be amazed. 

* * * A Message for Roger * * *

For a point of reference only, the lawyer's name was Roger.

Hopefully he's still alive and hopefully he is in tune enough with today's "internet" that he reads this article.

First, to this great lawyer.

Roger, I was like you.  I understand!

* * * A Message for Readers * * *

Now, to my readers I offer this.

You may not understand this statement until you meet with me.

If you like lawyers, you probably won't like me.

With that said, I can tell you that as a Rhode Island Lawyer who has focused my practice exclusively in the area of divorce and family law, I cannot make your problems go away.  No lawyer can!  Yet some lawyers may tell you they can to get you as a client.

Lawyers can't make your problems go away because fundamentally they are your problems.  Only you can take responsibility for those challenges in your life.  Only you truly have the power to resolve those challenges by your decisions.

However, I can tell you that I can help you understand and get through your Rhode Island divorce or family law challenges by working with you either as your Coach or as your Representative.

* * *  Your Divorce Coaching Program * * *

Roger's words were invaluable.  Today, they are the powerful force motivating the continued growth of your Family Law Coaching program.  

I call it Your Program because it is designed specifically for you.  It is designed to teach you, train you, advise you, inform you, and save you time and money in the areas of divorce and family law.

As Your Coaching Program continues to evolve, it will continue to work faster for you, become more economical for you, and become more helpful for you.

Whatever you choose to believe, there is one thing you can know with certainty. I am one lawyer trying to make a difference for YOU with a new and innovative way of practice designed by hard work, my belief that you can do more than you believe you can at this moment, and your willingness to be open to something new that works. 

What can Your Coaching Program help you with?  Here is a brief list . . .

Rhode Island Divorces & Legal Separations, Rhode Island Child Support Establishment, Modifications, Collections and Terminations, Rhode Island Child Custody Matters and Child Custody Modifications, Rhode Island Petitions to Enforced Marital Settlement Agreements and Property Settlement Agreements, Preparing Pre-Nuptual Agreements and Ante-Nuptual Agreements in Rhode Island, RI Petitions to Move Out of State with Minor Children, Petitions to Establish Paternity in Rhode Island, Rhode Island Motions to Adjudge In Contempt and Defense of those Contempt Motions, Protection from Abuse Petitions and Defense Against Such Petitions, Rhode Island Motions and Petitions to Establish, Modify or Terminate Visitation, RI Common Law Divorces and their Defense, Rhode Island Legal Rights, Rhode Island Family Court Procedures, 2nd Opinions about your Attorney on Rhode Island Divorce Cases, Pro Se Representation (i.e. Representing Yourself Appropriately in Family Court), and many more . . . 

Look for the Testimonials Section about Your Coaching Program which is coming soon.  Feel Free to Call Me for a low-cost Coaching Session!

Attorney Christopher A. Pearsall - Phone: (401) 632-6976

RI Common Law Divorce - Does the Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer Ask Enough Questions?

Being a dedicated Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer involves more than just an advertisement in the Yellow Pages touting that you handle divorce cases.  It also means much more than just having a placard outside your door indicating that you handle divorce cases that has been sitting there for the past twenty (20) years.  It means staying abreast of legal developments in divorce and family law at least on major issues.

Consider this family lawyer scenario.

A prospective divorce client is referred by a friend to a person referred as a "good divorce lawyer."  So the prospective client makes an appointment and meets with the lawyer.  The prospective client hands the papers received from the constable to the divorce lawyer.  The lawyer quickly reads the papers.  The brief meeting goes something like this.

DIVORCE LAWYER:  Well, these papers claim that you are a spouse in a "common law" marriage that was created by Rhode Island Law, that your marriage has broken down, and now your spouse wants a divorce. These are your divorce papers.

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  What marriage?!  We never got married.  She's my girlfriend and I might consider marrying her when I'm ready but we sure as hell aren't married right now.

DIVORCE LAWYER:  Depending on the facts, Rhode Island law allows a judge to declare that you are married and may have been married for some time.

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  Well how the heck would I know?

DIVORCE LAWYER:  Let me ask you a few questions.

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  Okay.

DIVORCE LAWYER:  Now you said you never got married, but how long did the two of you live together?

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  Pretty long now . . .almost 13 years.

DIVORCE LAWYER:   Do you own any property together?

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  Just the house we're living in right now.

DIVORCE LAWYER:   How do you file your taxes?

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  Well, the past 3 years we filed jointly.

DIVORCE LAWYER:  There's no point fighting it.  A judge is going to find a common law marriage here.  You tax filings make it a virtual certainty.

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT:  But we never got married I tell you and I've got . . [interrupted by the Divorce Lawyer]

DIVORCE LAWYER:  I'm sure I can get you a good settlement despite what these papers are looking for. Now the papers were served on you almost 20 days ago so we need to answer this Complaint in the next few days or you could get defaulted.  

Now my secretary will take some information from you on the way out and she'll have you sign a copy of my retainer agreement and give you a copy along with a questionaire.  Before we end for today I'll need a check payable to me for $3,500 so I can answer this complaint before you get defaulted so while you do that. . . [interrupted by the Prospective Divorce Client]

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT: I'd like to thank you for your time but I need to process this and I have an appointment scheduled with another attorney I'd like to meet with.

DIVORCE LAWYER:  But you don't have very much time and . . .

PROSPECTIVE DIVORCE CLIENT: I understand.  You've told me that.  I'll call you if I want to proceed further.  I'll show myself out.  

The Prospective Divorce Client left this particular divorce lawyer's office.

Okay, let's snap back to you as the reader sitting there reading and considering this little exchange.  Now imagine that you are the one seeking to hire a lawyer and you are expected by this divorce lawyer to plunk down $3,500 of your hard earned money for this lawyer to represent you.  

What are we talking about here?  We are talking about a lawyer who gave advice to a prospective client that opposing the Complaint for a Common Law divorce is not worth it even when the client insists there was no marriage. Clearly that isn't what the prospective client would like to hear. Yet there are times when a client has to realize the truth now matter how difficult it may be to swallow.  But is this the truth?  

The divorce lawyer asked only three (3) questions before making the determination, and even more important the divorce lawyer didn't even bother to ask the prospective divorce client about any of the facts and circumstances surrounding the prospective client's life, relationship, and lifestyle with this person who alleges they are married.

Ask yourself, does it make sense that Rhode Island law forms a marriage right out of thin air without signed documents, without a marriage certificate, and without any document telling either party not only that they are married to one anyone but "WHEN" that marriage occurred.

Okay, well these are only three things.  Let's assume that it could be and still cover these three things.  but there must be more, right?  Doesn't it boggle your mind?  I mean, do you have to be a lawyer to feel a bit unnerved and a bit shocked that such a powerful thing with so many legal benefits and obligations as marriage . . . could be formed so easily?  If it doesn't make you wonder... then it should.

Divorce lawyer or not, if you were Spiderman, then your "Spidey Senses" would be tingling like crazy, or as a prospective female divorce client your women's intuition should be sending a signal throughout your body telling you that it doesn't make sense that a divorce lawyer could have you answer three (3) simple questions and essentially tell you to 1) agree that you are married when you haven't "officially married" the person and 2) not to oppose the divorce papers!

Think about it divorce laws themselves.  Doesn't it even defy common sense to think that people who never got married and didn't think of themselves that way are, in fact, married?

The divorce lawyer has not shown you as the prospective divorce client a single stitch of anything that says if you give those particular answers to those particular questions that you are "in fact" married under Rhode Island Common Law.  Based simply upon a referral, or even may appear to you to be a phenomenal reputation the lawyer may have as a "good divorce lawyer", . . . I urge you to consider using your wits and let your wisdom and common sense guide you.

Being a good Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer does not necessarily mean that the lawyer is good at determining who is married under Rhode Island Common Law.

Wouldn't you be inclined to look deeper than that?  Perhaps you would demand a clearer explanation as to where it can be found that you are considered "married" under those circumstances.  More specifically, wouldn't you want to know precisely where in the law it says that your answers prove that you are definitely married under common law.

I will suggest to you that if such a scenario were to occur, and I can assure you it has by more than a few lawyers, that in the very least you keep your head on straight and ask yourself this simple question, Did the Lawyer Ask Me Enough Questions?  

Why?  Because the divorce lawyer in this scenario, in my professional opinion has missed at least a dozen questions that need to be asked for a thorough examination of a Rhode Island Common Law Marriage matter.   

So what happens if the divorce lawyer doesn't ask enough questions?  Well, the advice is, in the very least flawed.  More likely, the legal advice is simply wrong and the lawyer is doing you a disservice.  The end result?  You are not properly represented and you are unable to exercise the options and alternatives you may have access to simply because the divorce lawyer didn't do a proper analysis of the common law marriage in the first place.

We will address both what this lack of knowledge and thoroughness could do to you by discussing some of the factors regarding the formation of Common Law Marriages in Rhode Island in another article.  The damages that could be caused to you as the prospective divorce client by an improper evaluation can be astronomical depending upon the circumstances.

For now, I will close with this thought.  Common law marriages are far more complex than typical marriages and the same goes for common law divorce proceedings because they are filled with even more questions that must be answered.  Common law marriages may be argued and it is one of the few cases where a divorce may be denied simply because a marriage did not exist.  

Common law marriages in Rhode Island are not as easily formed and they are certainly not as easily dissolved.  Therefore, if you are faced with a boyfriend, girlfriend, or domestic partner of any kind who claims you are married, and you are not, you need the help of a skilled divorce and family law lawyer who knows the law and knows the court system.  

To find your divorce lawyer, you will need to remain sharper than the average person when seeking a divorce lawyer.  As a lawyer dealing with marriages and their dissolution (divorces) almost exclusively for more than a decade, I will offer you this rule of thumb.  If the RI divorce lawyers you are interviewing to represent you, or to give you advice do not ask you to explain your relationship and you are not asked at least a dozen questions, then you should consider another divorce lawyer.  

The fewer questions you are asked, the greater indicator that the "divorce lawyer" simply isn't up to speed on his or her common law marriage doctrines or the current cases on the subject (something necessary for the divorce or matrimonial lawyer you will want to hire).

So remember this question, Is this divorce lawyer I am considering asking me enough questions before giving me any determination as to whether I am more likely or less likely to be considered married under Rhode Island Law?   Less questions generally equate to less knowledge, less accuracy, less options and less left for you to continue your life within in the end.

For today, this is your Rhode Island Divorce Coach reminding you that awareness is the key.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2007 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com| Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com | Rhode Island Family Law Lawyer - RI Consumer Tips

Hunting for a RI Divorce Lawyer - Free RI Consultations - You usually get what you pay for! Nothing!

Lawyer or not, I do remember what it's like to be a layperson instead of a Rhode Island Divorce lawyer.  This may be where you are right now.  Searching for a Rhode Island divorce lawyer without any direction or assistance.

Let me take you back in time to one of my own divorce or family law altercations.  There I was. Perhaps just as you are now, thinking  "What the hell are you thinking.  C'mon, you know that every divorce lawyer you call is going to cost a fortune.  So why even bother to pick up the phone?  Why even waste your breath?"  Those were my thoughts and beliefs.

Yet like most people, I had to try.  Heck, if you don't know your family law rights how are you going to protect them, right?  You might as well not even have rights if you don't know them. 

I certainly didn't know how Rhode Island's Family Courts systems worked at that time.  Maybe you do, maybe you don't.  Personally, I was a mess.  There were just too many things going on in my life.  Most of us are faced with that challenge.   You probably have one or more jobs, hobbies, bills, children, school, marketing, preparation for your job, meetings to attend, and much more.  I'm sure you may have some or perhaps all of these things.

Well, here is what I did as a layperson at that time.  I was clueless.  So I picked up the telephone and called several lawyers in the divorce and family law section of the Yellow Pages.  I didn't know anyone who could even refer me to a lawyer.  The internet was barely accessible to the general public back then.

So I called several attorney's advertising divorces and set up free consultations.  I wanted to know some kind of price range from the divorce lawyer over the phone so I wouldn't be wasting my time or the divorce lawyer's time.  I thought I was being practical.  If I couldn't afford the lawyer then why should I waste the lawyer's time and my time in a free consultation, right?  It made sense to me.  Wouldn't it to you?

Yet there were too many things I just didn't understand about divorce lawyers, the family courts, and how things worked in practice.  Ultimately, I didn't care.  I just wanted the divorce to be done.  I secretly hoped that the divorce would just go away.  I wanted to wake up from this bad nightmare and suddenly family court would be a thing of the past.

My call to the first RI divorce lawyer wasn't too bad.  I called an attorney advertising that he handled divorce cases.  The secretary just asked me when I was available.  I told her and we set up my free consultation.  

I arrived early and was shown into the attorney's office about ten minutes late.   An older male attorney introduced himself, pointed to chair and told me to have a seat and then began walking around his office talking into the the air and waving his hands telling me about how long he had been practicing divorce law and how lucky I was to have found a lawyer as skilled as he was.  Yippee for me!  (Sorry, I just had to add that because it really is funny as I look back at this "lawyer hunt" today.)

The lawyer didn't ask a thing about my situation.  It was pretty clear he didn't care.

As a potential client, I couldn't get a word in edgewise.  If my name weren't written down in the lawyers' appointment book he wouldn't have known my name because I didn't even get a chance to say  "Hello, I'm Chris Pearsall." 

What I DO remember is the divorce attorney's demeanor.  He was very self-confident.  He assumed the cat was in the bag and I was going to hire him.  At the end of the meeting he told me that he'd walk me through the process and I wouldn't have to worry about a thing.  He'd take care of the whole thing and I wouldn't have to worry about anything.  It sure sounded good.  Yet I was no sucker.  Right after that he told me to make out a check for $3,500 payable to [Attorney's Name left out as a professional courtesy]  and his  secretary would give me a form to fill out and sign.

I thanked the lawyer and his secretary as I quickly walked straight for the door.  What a waste of my time!  I hadn't been able to say a word and the divorce lawyer simply  blustered about his achievements trying to impress me.  By the time I left the lawyer's office I wasn't any better off for it.  In fact, I had wasted 35 minutes and $1.50 in quarters for a parking spot, neither of which I would ever get back in my life.  I had no information about divorce, court procedure or my legal rights.  What good was this FREE CONSULTATION if I didn't get anything out of it?  The idea is clear.  You get what you pay for.

With the second Rhode Island lawyer I contacted I didn't fare much better.  I called the second Rhode Island Divorce attorney and then asked if there was anything I would need for his free consultation. The attorney told me I wouldn't need anything other than my checkbook or a check in the amount of $1,500 if he found that I was in dire need of an attorney and that proceedings needed to be instituted right away.  I made the appointment for my free consultation for three days later but called and canceled it the very next day.  Any divorce lawyer who considered that I should make the decision to hire him right then and there without thoughtful consideration and suggested before the appointment was even confirmed that I bring my checkbook was a bit too presumptuous for my taste.

My third encounter was nothing short of comical.  I went to the free consultation listed by a  female divorce lawyer in her Rhode Island Yellow Page advertisement.  This time I went in jeans.  I was not working that day and I felt more comfortable that way.  I also wanted to give the clear impression that I was not a man of great financial means.  I wanted to hear what help she would give me during the free consultation that might help me in my divorce if I didn't hire her. 

We never even got that far.  Here's how it played out.

An attractive woman entered the office about twenty minutes after I arrived.  She seemed calm and well composed and glanced at me sitting in the little waiting area.  The woman whispered to the receptionist, "That isn't my 2:30 appointment, is it?"  The attorney's receptionist nodded.  The female divorce attorney rushed into her office, came out with a brown expandable folder under her arm and rushed for the door, stating "I'm off to court."  The receptionist came out to me a few minutes later and was very apologetic.  She told me that she was sorry but that the attorney received a call and she had to return to court.  The receptionist then gave me the telephone number and address of Rhode Island Legal Services and suggested I contact them.

Apparently the jeans and dress shirt had given the impression I was a bum with no money.  I thanked the receptionist  for her courtesy and asked her how the attorney had had received a call to come back to court when the phone hadn't rung.  The receptionist stumbled and then said nothing.   This time I wanted to make sure it was worth the trip.   I asked the attorney's receptionist to please let the attorney know that I thought she had nice legs just the same.  The receptionist gave me a blank stare as I left the office.  Again, another 25 minutes of my time was wasted plus $2.50 for a parking meter.

If it's any consolation, not all lawyers fit these molds.  There ARE good lawyers out there that do not presume that you are going to hire them, that do not waste your time bragging about their accomplishments, and that do not make it a point to waste your time by standing you up for appointments because you don't look like you have enough money for their tastes.

Finding these lawyers isn't easy.  In today's high-tech age I have more major suggestion.  Use the internet, particularly Google.com and do a variety of word searches for Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys who offer divorce services, have been practicing for 10 years or more, and who offer informative articles for free on the internet to inform the public.  These are the attorneys that are helpful.  These are the attorneys who are not full of themselves.  These are the Rhode Island Divorce attorneys who literally proved themselves by their writings before you even call them or walk in their door.

Be aware that most attorneys still offer free consultations and that it makes all the sense in the world that you get what you pay for.  It only makes sense.  Every word that comes out of an attorney's mouth that carries any form of legal help or advice at all has liability attached to it and the attorney can be sued for it.  

So answer me this.  Why should a Rhode Island Divorce Attorney take all this risk, give you free legal advice, and risk being sued by you if he or she isn't getting paid a dime.  The answer!  They shouldn't!  Frankly, that's why they don't.  

So for decades the Free Consultation has been a hook to get prospective new clients in the door but not to give those prospective new clients any real legal help.  After all, if that was the intention, then it wouldn't it be called the Free Legal Advice Session or the Free Legal Feedback Session.  Yet that isn't what it's called.  

In fact, the word "consultation" means a meeting or discussion with an expert or professional in order to seek advice.  Notice that it says "to seek advice" but says nothing about receiving advice.  That's because that is the other half of the equation that is presumed by most people but it is not technically correct.  Consultations do not require that you receive advice, but only that you give information to seek advice.  Most of the time, the advice you get is this . . . . "You need to hire me right away before this becomes a mess and gets out of control."

In the end, if you're going for a free consultation, remember that you're most likely going to get what you pay for, so if you run across an attorney who charges for an advice session, don't be put off or throw him or her to the wind so quickly.  What are you being promised for your meeting fee?  Is it real legal advice you can use and rely upon?  Then depending upon the cost of the session/meeting, you may be saving yourself a lot of time and headaches by paying a reasonable fee and having something real you can rely upon because by accepting payment the attorney has put his or her reputation on the line and has exposed himself or herself to liability.

This was my experience before I came a lawyer focusing my practice in the area of Rhode Island Divorce and new RI Divorce and Family Law Advice and Coaching.  Yet you have to decide for yourself.  Let your common sense guide you.  Does it make sense that a lawyer is going to sit with you for free and answer your legal questions if he or she isn't assured to get something out of it?

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2007 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

Pearsall.net | AttorneyPearsall.com | Rhode Island Divorce Tips | ChristopherPearsall.com | GuaranteedWealth.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorney | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer | ChrisPearsall.com | LegalScholar.com | Pearsall-Law-Associates.com | Rhode Island Divorce Attorneys | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyers | Rhode Island Divorce Coach  |  RI Divorce Coach | RI Divorce Lawyer on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Coach on Twitter | Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer on Facebook.com| Attorney Chris Pearsall at LawGuru.com | Rhode Island Family Law Lawyer - RI Consumer Tips

Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer Offers Coaching: Getting a Grip on Alimony

Rhode Island alimony can be complicated and Rhode Island divorce lawyers can easily confuse the heck out of someone who is representing himself or herself in a divorce proceeding.

Fundamentals are important in understanding Rhode Island alimony.  No matter how much I seem to stress this to clients I have represented or coached, there are always those clients who buy into the hype of a Rhode Island divorce lawyer representing the opposing spouse.

Too many times I have seen Rhode Island divorce lawyers convince a person who is representing himself or herself that the Family Court Judge will almost certainly grant their client alimony so the Pro Se individual might just as well accept that fact and start thinking about the amount of alimony the Pro Se person is reasonably willing to consider offering.

So let's take a single fundamental of Rhode Island alimony.  Here it is.  Rhode Island alimony is supposed to be rehabilitative!

Keep in mind that we're not in California!  Rhode Island law's concept of alimony is not like the vast majority of television shows or the tabloid articles you see on the way out the checkout at the grocery store.  A good many times the media will show us the sensationalized awards of large alimony to one spouse, sometimes leaving many of us to wonder how a million dollar earning wife gets a large alimony award from her ten million dollar earning husband. 

It's helpful if you remember that generally alimony will be awarded by the Rhode Island family court judge when a spouse is in need of rehabilitation.  What does that mean?  Well, if a spouse's job skills are outdated and the your spouses reasonably cannot sustain himself or herself financially, then the court may award a period of rehabilitative alimony.

The underlying principle behind this financial support from the greater earning spouse is to allow the other spouse to time to obtain new skills or improve his or her existing skills so he or she can sustain himself or herself.

Alimony is taxable to the spouse that is receiving it just as if it were income.  Alimony is also deductible by the spouse that is paying it on that spouse's taxes.  

While there are many other aspects to the concept of Rhode Island alimony, I believe it is most important to understand its rehabilitative nature, especially if your are going to represent yourself (Pro Se).

If you represent yourself in a Rhode Island divorce proceeding, don't simply believe your spouse's lawyer if you are told that you the RI Family Court judge is going to award your spouse alimony simply because you make more income.    

Rhode Island law wasn't designed to give the lesser earning spouse more money just so you both have roughly the same amount of money coming in.

In short, don't get caught up in that thought or concept through television or from an attorney merely because he or she is advocating for his or her client and is trying to convince you that the Rhode Island judge is likely to award alimony.

All in all, don't panic if you are threatened with alimony by your spouse's attorney.  It's best to do your homework and get some professional advice because alimony situations will vary and there are exceptions. 

Be on your guard.  Know your rights.  In the very least, get some divorce coaching so you know what you are dealing with in your particular situation.  A hundred dollars spent now could save you literally tens of thousands dollars down the road.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by 

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2007 to Present.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
 Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.  The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

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Rhode Island Divorce Settlements - A Rhode Island Divorce Attorney's Settlement Philosophy!

In my years of practice as a Rhode Island Divorce * Lawyer I've seen my share of lawyers and their tactics for settlement.  Their tactics give a significant insight into their views on the philosophy of settlement if they consistently take the same approach.

All in all I can understand and appreciate why the public looks at most lawyers with a sense of distrust and even disgust.  Each person who comes to see us as lawyers has a certain objective in mind and they come to us as the profession whose job it is to obtain that objective with the law and our skills in its use as our weapon.  After all, it is called an "adversarial system" for a reason and a lawyers code of ethics requires us to represent our client's interests zealously provided our representation is within the bounds of the law.

Personally, Rhode Island Family Court is a different animal, so to speak, at least in my humble opinion.  Just consider divorce itself as one aspect of Rhode Island family law.  What is a lawyer's resolution tactic for a divorce?

Let me give you a few settlement views that I've heard stated by a few Rhode Island divorce and family law lawyers over the years.

Divorce Attorney A:  I fight for whatever the client wants for as long as it takes or until they are out of money and then I withdraw from the case.

Divorce Attorney B:  You have to budget.  If I know I need to bring in 50 clients for the year and make five thousand off each client to make what I need to make for the year then I see how I'm doing for the year and if I'm making more money than expected I may try to settle the case early if the client might be a good referral source.  Otherwise I will keep going until I get to three quarters of the budgeted amount and then settle their case.

Divorce Attorney C:  If I take a client who has very little money then I'll try to settle the case right away.  I mean we all want to get paid, right?

Divorce Attorney D:  Settling the case isn't really up to me.  It's up to the divorce client.  If the client isn't getting everything he or she wants then I keep fighting until they get it or they tell me to give in on the point.  As long as the client is paying me then I'll keep fighting.

Divorce Attorney E:  If a divorce client is willing to settle right away but I see something that he or she is legally entitled to in a divorce then I'll push that point if I feel it's something they should get.  Sometimes you have to churn things up to make a divorce client worth taking.  When I've made a reasonable amount on the case then I let things cool off and the client will usually lead me right to the settlement table because it's too emotionally draining.

Now, I want everyone reading this to realize that these are only five perspectives out of thousands of divorce lawyers in Rhode Island.  This does not mean they are representative of all Rhode Island divorce lawyers because five (5) simply does not equate to thousands.  There are good divorce lawyers out there.  The hard part can be finding the ones with the type of settlement strategy you are looking for.

I would imagine that some people would find these strategies appauling and typical of every lawyer.  That simply isn't so and I urge everyone not to take that idea from this article.  My point in writing this article is to point out something rather simple.  In all my years of practice, I don't recall an divorce attorney stating in my presence a settlement philosophy that makes sense not only for all couples but for the court as well.

So let me state, for the record, my settlement philosophy and explain it briefly.  If you like it, GREAT!  If you don't like it... then I'm probably not the divorce lawyer for you.  I'm even happy to put my name to it as a quote because I believe that if a client truly knows where the lawyer's head is at then he or she can avoid wasting time if I'm not the type of lawyer he or she is looking to hire.

Attorney Pearsall:  Make sure the client knows his or her rights and alternatives and then settle the case within the client's desires.  If the opposing party is being unreasonable and the client wants you to fight for his or her rights, then if you can't reach a creative compromise, hunker down and do what needs to be done to fight for the client.

If I were to spell things out my philosophy of divorce settlement, I try to settle every case right from the outset to prevent damage to any minor children, to the client, to any future relationship the parties might want to preserve and to resolve the matter so that the possible mental, emotional and financial damage caused by the divorce is minimized.  This helps the parties and the court. 

When I meet with prospective clients I keep it a bit simpler when I explain my philosophy. It goes something like this: 

I try to settle every case as early as possible.  Reaching settlement saves you money, time, stress and aggravation.  If settlement isn't possible, then I do what needs to be done within the bounds of the law, ethics and a genuine sense of morality.

If you like lawyers, you probably won't like me.  There are very few lawyers that I know, like and trust.  Personally, I find it hard to see how other lawyers do not have the same philosophy I have that settlement should be Priority #1.  The only real benefit to not settling a divorce case quickly goes to the divorce lawyer through payment of additional fees.

Divorce is already hard enough for people, even when its amicable.  People have to plan on a new and changed lifestyle and usually additional costs and responsibilities.  Especially when there are children involved, it should be most important, in my humble opinion, to resolve the divorce and preserve the parties and as much of the remaining family unit as possible.

Divorce is a legal step to moving the parties along to a new and different lifestyle.  It's hard enough as it is for the spouses and children.  I would hope other divorce lawyers in Rhode Island would think as I do and help the remaining family unit or relationship to survive and have the best chance at thriving.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

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