In many Rhode Island divorce proceedings tensions run high and sometimes emotions as well. Depending upon the reason for the divorce sometimes there is so much anger between the parties or simply from one party to the other that all a person can think about can be boiled down into words that easily come to mind such as:
5. Broken Promises
8. Rejection, and many more.
With these words come very strong feelings that often spell a recipe for difficult and troubled end to the marriage in family court. Most of which may well be valid and understandable from a counselors point of view but not when it comes to using your common sense.
What happens if you have a bitter and contested Rhode Island divorce? Let's take a look at what usually happens in this kind of divorce.
- Usually you lose lots of time from your work, schooling or children.
- Usually you spend considerable time waiting in court for your matter to be called and heard by the court over and over and over again as it drags on.
- Usually you spend tremendous energy merely indulging your anger, anxiety and/or fears all of which may be lumped together causing your nerves to be short and your mental state to start to affect your body by developing facial worry lines, grey hair (or losing your hair altogether), grinding your teeth, and literally becoming a person who begins to become anchored in the feelings of the divorce that may not leave you until long after your divorce is over, preventing you from happily getting on with your life.
- Usually you pay a lawyer thousands upon thousands of dollars to protect and preserve your rights with absolutely no guarantee that you will accomplish your legal, economic or even emotional goals by the end of the divorce.
- Usually you have lost a tremendous amount of money and time in your life that you can never get back because you can't turn back the clock.
So it's not too hard to see why having the right lawyer and working toward an uncontested Rhode Island divorce is important and best for most people.
Look how much you lose in a long contested battle!
My best friend's father was the best example of a father I ever had that honor of calling "dad" in my life. His name was "Hugh O'Brien" and he was and always will be nothing short of a truly great man in my eyes. He was one of the few great men I have had the privilege of knowing and as my "dad" he taught me that no matter how much in the right you may feel you are, there is almost never any reason to fight unless you are are absolutely forced to defend yourself. I remember him saying one time that it is always better, if you can, to walk away and maintain your dignity.
I agree whole-heartedly not only in a physical fight but also in a divorce proceeding. Yes, there are in fact times when one spouse is so unreasonable that he or she will want to deprive you of everything and you simply can't "walk away" or you won't survive. In that kind of case, a contested divorce may become unavoidable. If that is that case, I understand and like many other Rhode Island attorneys who practice divorce and family law I will do what needs to be done to protect you.
Yet the truth is that perhaps only 1% of all divorce cases each year are contested to that degree.
So what makes sense? Is it better to indulge unhealthy emotions by fighting over some money and some things to the point where they affect your nerves, your appearance, your attitude, your employment, your children, the amount of money you'll have to work with at the end of the proceeding and most importantly the limited time you have on this earth simply to make a point or get a few extra things or a few extra dollars at the end? Is it really? If so then you'd rather pay a lawyer thousands to get this all done only to find out you really haven't gained any thing but rather you've lost what you can never get back.
What if you knew that you could get on with your life sooner and find your "soulmate" who was truly meant for you but you missed him or her never to find them again because you were in the middle of a fight with your spouse over other things in a contested divorce proceeding.
In a contested divorce proceeding, a party never wins.
An uncontested Rhode Island divorce with a lawyer determined to get you there is the best way to go. However, ultimately the only REAL WINNERS I have EVER seen in any divorce proceeding are the two parties themselves who participate in an uncontested proceeding. Those who work together to reach an agreement and get through their proceeding amicably for themselves and their children so they can move on with their lives fairly are the only ones that WIN.
Do you want to really WIN in your divorce proceeding? Be smart and follow what Hugh said and plan on an uncontested RI divorce with your spouse! Do you need an uncontested RI divorce lawyer to help you?
Are you a WINNER? Then, welcome to my Rhode Island Divorce Coaching Plan! I created it for the WINNERS like you? People don't need or want a lawyer who needs $10,000 to reach an end result in their case . . . and while Rhode Island divorce law even in an uncontested divorce is not easy... it can be made simple in many cases.
I'm Rhode Island Attorney Christopher A. Pearsall and I focus my practice exclusively on Rhode Island Divorce and Coaching. Give me a call at (401) 632-6976 and I'll be happy to set up your first low-cost session for only $135.00.
My Very Best to All of You in Your Divorce and Family Law Cases!